The FOHest Moments Of 2013
Ayo whattup…you now baskin in the rays of the everlastin enlightened presence of the mighty Hands of Zeus aka Divine Snowcones aka Caviar Tusks aka the one n only Cocaine Biceps aka the illustrious Phantom Raviolis aka Thor Molecules the great aka Shampoo Bracelets the panty melter aka the world famous Galaxy Knuckles…yall might also kno me as Spartacus Deluxe or Human Arithmetic in the flesh. Welcome back to the Cappuccino Lounge. Id like to thank Okayplayer for havin me once again. We gon touch on what I felt was the most fuckouttaherest moments of the year n shit. I mean really I could make a list of like 8,000 moments but I narrowed that shit down to six namsayin. But yo enough explainin…lets jus get shit on n poppin…
Disclaimer: The views n shit in this muthafucka is all my owns?so that aint in no way a reflection of nobody other than myself n whatever whatever. No other man or woman or child represented heretofore n such hereby is sharin the opinion of the gentleman who be sayin the shit contained within namsayin. This muthafucka do be containin foul language n shit that might offend small children n old people n shit too.
6. STILL still no album from Jay Electronica
This is almost jus insultin now b… Remember back in June/July after Hov n J. Cole both dropped they albums n then Jay ElectRamadaanMuhammadAsalaamaleikumRasoulAllahSubhanahuWaTaalaThroughYaMonitor got on twitter n said “ok. now it?s my turn. Lets Go.” Yall remember the LOLs n LMAOOOOOOOOOOs that ensued after that? Shit is pretty self-explanatory from there namsayin. You kno when you go to the movies n you see a trailer for a flick that looks like its bout to be the greatest shit ever made n it got you mad hype n then its like….’COMING……CHRISTMAS 2018′? Shit aint dope right? Now take the anticipation for this album when it was first announced n replace the date wit ‘Neveruary Neverteenth Neverthousandandnever’. Fucked up aint it? Blame Kate Rothschild or the Illuminati or Jay Electron hisself… but it dont change the fact that son need to stop playin wit muthafuckas’s emotions.
5. Wu-Tang Forever
Naw…not the Wu Tang album of the same name. Yall already kno what the fuck Im talmbout. We aint gon jus put a big bow on this year n call it a wrap without acknowledgin what this shit was. It was a lot of moments on Nothing Was The Same where Young Mayonnaise was makin it clear that his insecurities dictate a lot of his actions namsayin. On the first five tracks of the album alone its already like four references to Wu-Tang. Matter fact one is the song “Wu-Tang Forever” n another is the song after it n both em shits got hooks that came from the same Wu song (“Its Yourz”). Son actin like a muthafucka who jus discovered weed for the first time…like nobody else ever experienced that shit so he gon OD on that shit n make niggas expereince it wit him over n over again. We get it Aubrey… theres a dark side to you…one that might gon even say FUCK IT…IMMA PUT THESE EXTRA MARSHMALLOWS IN THIS HERE HOT COCOA N CANT NOOOOOOO NIGGA STOP ME FROM DOIN THAT SHIT. Coo.. We get it b. You aint hadda make two different Wu-Tang inspired love ballads tho. You aint hadda pretend you was listenin to Cappadonna album on “Tuscan Leather” knowin damn well Cappadonna dont een listen to Cappadonna albums b. But whatever yo.
4. Accidental Racist
First off lemme jus say that LL is a actual actual livin legend. I came up on sons music nahmean. He provided the soundtrack for summa the most profound moments in my life b. This the man responsible for “Rock The Bells” aka the quintessential b-boy classic. Thats hip hop in its purest form namsayin. Only shit that comes close to touchin it on that level is “Peter Piper” or “Eric B. Is President” or some shit like that. Son been in the game for 30 damn years yo. This the man who dropped the first album on Def Jam. How many muthafuckas can say some shit like that? His career spans 4 muthafuckin decades b. He got awards n plaques out the ass yo… Son done outlasted so many of his competitors n challengers that he seemed damn near indestructible at one time. From old school cats like Kool Moe Dee n Ice T to that nigga Canibus when he was in his prime….to 2Pac… son done overcame (or outlived) em all yo. So what did it take to finally stop his endless chain of comebacks n put that final nail in his coffin? Jussa a little country duet tellin muthafuckas that over 400 years of slavery, torture, murder, rape, segregation, burnin crosses, police brutality, systematic genocide, n imprisonment could be forgiven IF….white folk dont judge him for his gold chains n whatever. Son. Thats some next level ridiculous shit. He might as well had shouted out the grand dragon of the KKK n danced witta bucket of chicken on his head in the video while Brad Paisley played hambone for him. Come on son.
You can peep the rest of this shit at okayplayer