NOTE TO READER: The followin screenplay (“The Sound Of Nobody Givin A Fuck”) is a review for the album “Because The Internet” by Childish Gambino.
2ND NOTE TO READER: Yall can figure out shit for yaself.
EXT. MOUNTAINTOP – SUNRISE
A handsome man wit eyes that be lookin like two red stars is sittin in the lotus position. He stares off into the distance n shit. The valley beneath the mountaintop seems to go on forever. The sun is paintin the landscape the same hues that appear against the clouds…the whole scene is lookin like it was dipped in marmalade. The handsome man remains motionless. A dove swirls above him n lands on his shoulder namsayin. The handsome man…remains….motionless. His hands be lookin like two chiseled slabs of marble. Suddenly the dove cries out. A tear drips from the eye of the dove n lands upon the elegant silk garments of the handsome man. Son closes his eyes. He is troubled.
*********[PLAY SONG “I AM FORGIVEN” BY PUSHA-T AT THIS POINT]********
There are bright lights…lights flashing. A beautiful woman that looks like a young Monica Bellucci or Angelina Jolie is cryin out. There are screams n shit.
(Closeup) The handsome man wit his eyes shut mad tight appears more troubled. He is pained by the thoughts n whatever.
The screamin beautiful woman is reachin towards us. She calls out…
The handsome man opens his eyes.
…..Zeeeussssssssss…zeussssss…zeussss…zeusss….zeus (her voice echoes thru the valley below)
The two red stars transform into volcanoes in his eye sockets. Shit appears as tho there is lava streamin down the inside of his face namsayin. He is cryin…but he cries not the way a infant or a broad would nahmean. The tears of hot lava fall beneath his face. Under his bristled cheeks. Shit looks dope wit the red sun reflectin off a his aura n shit. He smashes his hands against the ground. White doves flutter from his presence n fly into the distance. Shit looks breathtakin yo.
*********[PLAY SONG “DOPE” BY LOS FEAT. PUSHA-T & YO GOTTI]********
EXT. A FIELD OF TALL GRASS ON FIRE – SUNSET
A lion roars. The lion stands on his hind legs as a silverback gorilla collides into him in slow motion. They begin to fight. There is lightning bolts strikin the earth in the distance.
EXT. A ZULU VILLAGE – NIGHT
Warriors dance around a fire thats like 20 feet tall. Naomi Campbell lookin women wit paint on they faces n no tops on clap n sing.
(Closeup) Breasts bounce n glisten in the moonlight.
The lion n the gorilla continue to fight n whatever. The lion dives into the gorilla n flips it into the air n shit. The gorilla twirls into the air n lands near some twisted thousand year old old lookin trees. He gets up…
(Closeup) Breasts glisten in the moonlight. They bounce as the voices of Zulu women sing n the embers from the 20 foot tall fire float thru the air like little pixies n shit.
The gorilla pulls the tree outta the ground. The tree gotta be at least 30 feet tall. It got branches that stretch out in all directions like when you pour milk onto a table n then use a straw to blow it around. Which basically is how trees look I guess…
(Tight closeup) Breasts glisten…they begin to collide into another pair of breasts…n another pair… The embers from the fire blow across the frame more furiously n begin to form small spirals.
The gorilla throws the tree. It flies across the African meadow (in slow motion) n lands on top of the lion. Dust clouds blow out like woooooooshhhh as the lightning in the distance strikes the earth wit the impact of a meteorite namsayin. Mushroom clouds form each time the lightning hits the ground n shit. You can hear the screams of the lion n the roar of the gorilla simultaneously. Shit be soundin like RAWWWWWRRRRREEEEEEUUUUUUHHHHH.
(Super tight closeup) Breasts in the moonlight.
Then SUDDENLY…. Silence.
*********[PLAY SONG “BLACK & BLUE” BY BAS]********
The lightning has stopped nahmean. The gorilla smiles n birdman handrubs n turns to walk away. He is pleased wit hisself. He thinks bout how he might gon stop by the bamboo field on the way back to his herd or whatever.
Suddenly tho…the tree that is at his back now….the one he had thrown on top of the lion…begins to rumble n shit.
(Closeup) The gorillas eyes grow wide like “woooord”?…then they become fierce n he beats upon his chest which makes a sound like two hammers smashin against a Chinese gong. The lion emerges from under the tree…. (super fast zoom) The lion looks up n lets out a roar that echoes for miles around.
*********[PLAY SONG “THE ROCKERS” BY ACTION BRONSON FEAT. WIZ KHALIFA AT THIS POINT]********
EXT. THE MOUNTAINTOP – DAYTIME
The roars of the lion echo thru the valley.
The handsome man rises from the ground. The ferocity in his eyes lookin like those of the gorilla namsayin. It could be that the gorilla is a metaphor for his emotions n shit maybe. He aint usually emotional like that tho. Son is actually a very cool n calm individual but he bein put to the test nahmean. His appetite for vengeance is what compels him to become angry. As he clenches his fists they make a sound like when somebody crushes a bag of cereal. The pressure within his palms could turn coal into diamonds yo.
Suddenly the clouds above him begin to spin. Like cotton candy. But darker. Like dark cotton candy nahmean. The clouds part. A golden chariot emerges. It is bein pulled by winged golden sharks. They look like they been coated in gold dust. You probably thinkin how could sharks survive outside of the ocean tho. These aint jus some regular sharks namsayin. As they swoop down from the sky like dancin bullets…towing the golden chariot behind em…there are bursts of flames… From anywhere else beneath the mountaintop they would almost jus look like some comets n shit.
There is a ringin sound. The handsome man pulls his phone out. “Blocked”. Some hoe ass muthafucka callin him in secrecy. He answers…
(anger in his tone)
MAN ON PHONE
(soundin like some bitch ass muthafucka)
It seems you have something of mine.
Oh word? So what I got you bitchmade hoe ass muthafucka?
A golden key dangles from a 40 inch cuban link chain that adorns the neck of the handsome man.
MAN ON PHONE
Now Now. We would not wanna hurt my feelings.
When my feelings get hurt I do bitchmade shit to get niggas back.
Im too careful to do the shit myself tho so I might jus get my goons to handle that for me.
Ayo listen here b. When I find you Imma slap you so hard ya head gon be doin
somersaults into the cosmos n shit. Imma slap ya head off ya shoulders so hard its gon
shoot into space n be orbitin the earth for the next 1 million years n shit ya understand?
Ya head is gon be part of the night sky b. Kids all over the world gon think that shit is a
shootin star n be makin wishes n whatever but in reality its gon be ya head nahmean….
Ya shit gon be glowin too… from the heat of the friction of my hand so its gon be visible
from the ground namsayin. Ya whole head gon be lit up like a 200 megawatt lightbulb
from the heat n the friction of my palm smacking into it. Ya shit gon look like a christmas
tree ornament magnified under a telescope. Imma have ya head twirlin in space like a disco
MAN ON PHONE
(Soundin wild shook)
You d-d-dont sc-sc-scare (clears throat) me ok?
You dont gotta feel scared. You dont gotta feel nothin. (long pause)
You already dead. (hangs up)
The lion is roarin. Suddenly it shrinks n begins to transform…
The handsome man crushes the phone in his hands n throws the particles of the phone into the valley below.
He climbs into the chariot. He reaches into the mini bar n pulls out a bucket of ice wit a bottle of Dom Perignon (Vintage 1992) leanin inside it. Son pulls out a saber n chops off the top of the bottle n pours the champagne into a chalice thats cut from a blue sapphire namsayin. The chalice sparkles in the sun as the bubbles rise to the top of the glass n pour over the sides n shit. He pours the rest onto the ground below him. For the homies who went back to the essence.
***[PLAY “SINCERELY ANTIQUE” BY ROC MARCIANO FEAT. ACTION BRONSON & WILLY THE KID AT THIS POINT]***
INT. THE BACK ROOM OF A LAUNDROMAT – DAY
The eyes of a man in thick dark rimmed glasses peer over the 5 cards fanned out in his hands n shit. He older brother but not really really really old. Probably late 50s or early 60s namsayin. He light skinned as fuck. Like he damn near creamy beige. His mustache be lookin like two gorilla fingers touchin. He inhales as his nostrils flare out slightly. His tell. He places the cards on the table face down.
Yall muthafuckas been gettin dealt straights n flushes all night (its noon) like yall got
four leaf clovers n horsehoes growin out yall ass. See I play wit skill n dexterity.
I make calculated decisions based upon–
REAL REAL BLACK DUDE
Nigga you wanna raise or you gon fold ya little bum ass hand?
The player to his right is a younger muthafucka witta leather cowboy hat on n a black shirt wit black rhinestone on it. His complexion is blacker than a trillion midnights. He almost looks like he the shadow of a dude thats rockin a cowboy hat…if it wasnt for the the whites of his eyes n the light catchin his rhinestones n shit. He look like a younger darker relative of Bill Duke aka the “YOU KNO YOU DONE FUCKED UP RIGHT?” muthafucka from Menace II Society. Son so dark he make Akon look like Brad Pitt nahmean. Son look like ya iphone screen when its off.
Imma do what Imma do when I wanna do it you Yokohama tire lookin ass muthafucka!
The player to his right raises from his chair but the older Asian dude who owns the laundromat gets in between them muthafuckas n tries to get the jet black dude to cool down n shit.
A wiseguy lookin Italian dude laughin to hisself sits across from em shakin his head n takes a sip of his Jack Daniels. Under his breath he sayin “fuckin spades”….
The real real black dude turns his head towards the wiseguy.
REAL REAL BLACK DUDE
Somethin funny over there you rigatoni worshippin muthafucka?
Its a funny story…I think you might like it…
See…ya sister keep breakin my balls n askin me when she can have a bite of my cannoli
OLD ASIAN DUDE
REAL REAL BLACK DUDE
So I tells her when she stop havin babies wit every moolie between here n Secaucus…
I might be able to help her out….capeesh?
REAL REAL BLACK DUDE
You done fucked up now…
OLD HASIDIC JEWISH DUDE
Oy vey iz mir
REAL REAL BLACK DUDE
Shuttup old man (pointin finger at him)
YOUNG MUSLIM DUDE
HEY! Take it easy. You dont have to talk to him like that…
REAL REAL BLACK DUDE
Imma talk to him however the fuck I wanna talk–
The door gets kicked off the hinges n flies into the middle of the damn room. Niggas look wild shook.
The Handsome Man steps thru a fog of dust n the debris n whatever. Doves fly into the room. He is holdin a fire hydrant wit pieces of the sidewalk still attached to it in one hand n a chain wrapped around his other hand.
OLD HASIDIC JEWISH DUDE
Dont nobody open they muthafuckin mouth.
Theroom is quiet for like 10 seconds…n then…
REAL REAL BLACK DUDE
The handsome man flicks the chain at the real real black dude’s grill n knocks out 8 of sons muthafuckin front teeth. The chain snaps back into his hand like the retractable cord on a vacuum cleaner n shit.
The real real black dude is holdin onto his mouth as the blood is pourin out the sides of his hands like he jus got splashed witta bottle of Motts Clamato. He done talkin.
The handsome man circles the table n stops behind the beige dude wit the glasses n the mustache lookin like a push broom.
Where ya boy at?
Thats right, owl man…
Huh? (lookin confused)
Dont make me ask you again muthafucka. If I gotta ask you again Imma assume you like
wastin my damn time. If you gon waste my damn time it means I gotta get my time back.
If Imma get my time back it means I gotta take somebody else’s namsayin. Might gon take
a liiiiittle bit…or I might gon take ALL that shit. Yanno?
You gotta promise me you wont hurt him…
I cant do that. But I aint gon kill his ass. Imma put hands on him n fly his head……..
Might een stomp him out n throw him off a building. But I aint gon kill him.
EXT. FIELD OF TALL GRASS – NIGHT
Gorilla beatin on his chest.
********[PLAY SONG “TRAP ASSASSIN” BY DJ MUGGS FEAT. FREDDIE GIBBS AT THIS POINT]********
EXT. THE MAIN GIRL’S CRIB – SUNSET
The handsome man is bout to roll thru to his main girl crib n see whats good wit the panties. When son gets to her street its a black convertible Jaguar F-Type parked on the road outside the gates of the house. He dont recognize it. Parked right behind it is a black Yukon wit two muthafuckas sittin in the driver n the front passenger seats. Son rolls past without drawin any attention to his chariot thats bein pulled by winged golden sharks n parks at the end of the street.
After he parks he climbs into a oak tree n starts jumpin from tree to tree til he gets closer to the Yukon. When he gets there he stands over the truck n then jumps down n crashes thru the top of the whip n lands in the backseat.
The dude in the passenger seat pulls out his burner n tries to clap son. The handsome man grabs dude’s armn n snaps his lateral epicondyle out. The niggas bone is stickin outta his arm n shit n he like “AWWWWWHHHHHHHHHH”… The dude in the driver seat pulls out his strap n tries to smash the handsome man wit the gun handle real quick. The handsome man ducks n then snaps the passengers arm again n pulls the muthafuckas humerus out. Then he takes the bone n smacks the driver in the head. The drivers left eyeball pops out n hits the window n then springs back into the socket. Son is screamin like a bitch. In the meantime the passenger pulls out a knife wit his other hand n the handsome man grabs his wrist n snaps sons arm in half n head butts the muthafucka thru the windshield.
The other dude is still screamin n holdin his eye wit all types of blood sprayin out n whatever… The handsome man hops out n opens the driver door n pulls the muthafucka outta the whip n smacks him so hard theres a red imprint of a hand dented into the side of his face. Now he unconscious. Meanwhile son is still wearin his seatbelt so the whole seat had came out the truck wit him n the nigga layin on the street strapped to a Yukon seat covered in blood n his own urine nahmean.
The dude who got head butted thru the windshield gets up while this is happenin n starts comin at him again. He runnin n swingin his broken arms like double dutch jump ropes n comin straight at the handsome man to try n catch him off guard n shit. The handsome man sees the dude in the sideview mirror of the truck n drops down into the splits n sweeps the nigga legs from under him n shit. Then he swings the driver side door of the Yukon into the muthafuckas head n it leaves the niggas whole face imprinted on that shit like the inside of a plastic halloween mask. Both em muthafuckas is knocked out cold.
*********[PLAY SONG “YOUR HONOR” BY FAT JOE FEAT. ACTION BRONSON AT THIS POINT]*********
EXT. THE MAIN GIRL’S CRIB – NIGHT
The handsome man dusts hisself off. He walks to the front door of his main girl crib. The door is closed but he checks to see if the muthafucka is locked anyways. The shit is open. He opens it slowly n pokes his head inside.
INT. THE MAIN GIRL’S CRIB – NIGHT
The crib looks empty…but it smells fragrant. Like cooked pears n whatever. He steps inside. Theres a couple candles on the glass coffee table. They look like they was lit bout a hour ago or some shit. Theres a couple wine glasses n a half empty bottle of moscato next to the candle. Its some crumpled up balls of tissue on the rug.
The handsome man walks into the kitchen n grabs a toaster n starts wrappin the cord around his hand. He cracks his neck. First on the left n then on the right side. He starts walkin thru the crib. He hears music comin from upstairs. Beyonce…. “If I Were A Boy”. He heads upstairs. The music aint comin from the master bedroom. Its actually comin from one of the guest rooms. He pushes the door open slowly. Shit is empty. The patio door that leads out to the balcony is open tho. He can hear muthafuckas talkin.
Suddenly he hears a toilet flush in the bathroom next to the room he in. He puts down the toaster n eases across the hallway into another guest room n shit. A muthafucka in a dark suit comes outta the bathroom wipin the excess water from his hands sayin some “roger that” type shit into the earpiece on his jack.
As the dude is bout to enter the room across from the handsome man the handsome man grabs the muthafucka from behind n pulls him into the room he in n throws the dude into a wall head first n shit. Shit is quiet again. The music comin from the next room is in between songs. It comes back on. Its some old Keith Sweat shit. The security dude is laid up inside the wall wit only his feet hangin out. Half his body actually layin on a table in the next room.
The handsome man walks over n drags the nigga back into the room. Son is wild dizzy n his eyes is only halfway open.
How many muthafuckas is in the next room?
(weak n outta breath) Suck…my…muthafuckin….
The handsome man covers dudes mouth wit his left hand n grabs the dude arm wit his right n twists it back n snaps his shoulder so hard his clavicle bone tears out thru his shirt. The security dude lets off a muffled scream into son’s hand. He cryin like a infant now. The handsome man grabs dudes other arm.
Lets try that one more ‘gain you fuck nigga. How many muthafuckas in that room?
The security dude puts up two fingers. The handsome man slaps the dude wit about 800 lbs of pressure n the nigga goes slidin acrosss the room like a wet ice cube n slips under the bed. He aint gon be wakin up for a minute.
The handsome man walks across the hall n into the room. He picks up the toaster he dropped from before n wraps the cord around his hand again. He can see thru the curtains. Its another dude in a dark suit. He lookin in the opposite direction n shit wit his hands in front of him. The handsome man looks to other side of the balcony. Some corny dude in a tight ass 3 piece silver suit witta european cut is talkin to his girl. They leanin on the railing facin each other n shit. He holdin one of her hands sayin some shit to her…the only part the handsome man heard was “You can do better”.
********[PLAY SONG “JUMP AROUND (ACOUSTIC)” BY EVERLAST AT THIS POINT]********
EXT. BALCONY -SUNSET
The balcony is mad big. Its covered in smooth spanish tiles. They like terracotta n shit. Its overlookin a hillside. In the distance you can see the ocean.
The handsome man comes out onto the balcony n swings the toaster into the security dude’s head quickfast. The toaster breaks in half. The dude starts to fall forward n the handsome man grabs him n throws him off the 3rd floor balcony. The nigga lands in a tree. He all mangled n shit wit his limbs all pointin in different directions n whatever.
The dude in the tight suit throws up his hands like he think he gettin juxed for his shit.
TIGHT SUIT WEARIN MUTHAFUCKA
Whoa! Whoa! Take it easy dude! I dont want any problems!
Yo who the fuck is you b? What you doin here?
Baby calm down…we were only talking…..
TIGHT SUIT WEARIN MUTHAFUCKA
She’s tellin the truth bro…
I aint ya bro muthafucka… n I seen how yalls was talkin. Im bout to throw you off this
balcony too n see if all that fly shit you talk helps you land smoother than ya boy right there.
(ey’body looks down at the cat who got thrown off that shit thats still fucked up in the tree)
Stop baby…he’s just trying to help!
Help hisself inside ya panties…
TIGHT SUIT WEARIN MUTHAFUCKA
(hands still up) Look. My employer just wants to see to it that she is taken care of. He just
wants to take care of–
Yeah I know what the fuck he wanna take care of. See I kno who ya boss is b. By the way…
You can let him kno Im comin for him after I throw you off this shit.
Handsome man grabs dude by the lapel on his jacket n lifts the muthafucka off the ground. His girl is tryin to pull his arm n make him let go of the son.
TIGHT SUIT WEARIN MUTHAFUCKA
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
PLEASE! STOP! IM SORRY!
Apology accepted muthafucka…
The handsome man flips dude upside down n dangles his corny ass off the side of the balcony by his feet n shit.
TIGHT SUIT WEARIN MUTHAFUCKA
EXACTLY! WAAAAAAIIIIT! STOPPPPPPP!
(To his main chick) You gon have to trust me boo… I kno why this nigga here. He was sent
to….”save you from yaself”
Bae…how did you kno he said that to me….? I…
Its what they be doin ma… The plan is to tell you what you wanna hear n get you gassed up.
After that you not gon be able to trust ya own judgement. You gon need a man to help you
feel validated n shit. You gon be seekin that approval from a man forever…
TIGHT SUIT WEARIN MUTHAFUCKA
Thats not true…thats not true. Dont listen to what he’s saying. You’re a lot smarter than you
Just hold on…(long pause)
…you’re goin home.
TIGHT SUIT WEARIN MUTHAFUCKA
NO NO NO…WAIT!
The main chick grabs the handsome man’s hand n unfolds his grip. The tight suit wearin muthafucka falls to the ground below n shit. The fall aint enough to kill the dude… But bein that the back of the house is facin towards a hill wit trees n whatever… he ends up rollin like a tumbleweed down that muthafucka hittin tree trunks n logs for like 3 minutes n shit.
The handsome man n the main chick watch the nigga roll down the hill for a moment n then turn to look at each other.
********[PLAY “FAVORITE SONG” BY CHANCE THE RAPPER FEAT. CHILDISH GAMBINO AT THIS POINT]********
(Pressin two fingers against her lips) You dont gotta say nothin ma. These capin ass trick
muthafuckas kno how to get into a broads mind. They like the shit that you like…they drink
the same warm beverages yall do…they sing tender ass little melodies…they een exfoliate
like yall. They like a gay friend…but devious.
Lookin off into the distance at the clouds moving past.
Its like a epidemic n shit. These niggas aint had no positive male role models in they lives
when they was growin up. Niggas was raised by they older sisters n aunts n shit like that.
They learned to be men from watchin The Wiggles n Teletubbies n shit.
He wipes the tear thats tricklin down her left cheek wit his thumb as he holds her head gently in his powerful hands.
It aint too many real niggas left in the world ma. We a dyin breed yanno? Its mad little niggas
thats sittin in they bathrooms right now takin selfies n whatever. They be havin white iPhones
n shit. Ma…
How you gon call yaself a man when you got a white iPhone?
She looks at him…as tho she is caressin her soul wit his words. There is a look of bittersweetness on her face. He continues on…
How a dude gon talk to a pretty ass girl n say ‘yo whats good wit the digits tho ma…? Can I get
those n maybe call you later so we can kick it?’ n if she say COOL the nigga gon pull out a white
iPhone n say ‘Aight g’head Imma jus type it into my ivory colored phone’….
Same phone he be listenin to all his Trey Songz joints on…namsayin?
(she nods). I mean…that kinda cat…after he leave that broads presence he probably gon go take
a selfie 30 seconds later of hisself cheesin n put that shit on his pinterest board…
Word is bond.
She takes his hand . She is mad turned on by his words n his passion n shit.
Baby…we should go inside…. You’re the only one I wanna be with.
********[PLAY “BOUND 2” BY KANYE WEST AT THIS POINT]********
INT. THE MASTER BEDROOM – NIGHT
The room is lit wit candles. Like hundreds of em. Its a fireplace in the room too. Theres exquisite furs n silk curtains hangin from all over the place. Theres a replica of the Nike of Samothrace in the corner (that headless greek statue of a winged broad). In the bathroom thats attached to the room theres a steam bath. The levels of sexual fury thats bout to be reached durin the next 2 hours could melt steel b.
(insert hardcore sex scene here)
EXT. A MOUNTAIN RANGE – DUSK
Two eagles flyin in the sky. They twist n glide around n lock bodies together n then they fall together for a good 10 seconds…shit is beautiful. Then they fly they separate ways.
INT. THE MASTER BEDROOM. DAY
The handsome man n the main chick lay in bed together. There is all types of velvet n silk fabrics around em.They lay on top of some white tiger furs.
I gotta go…
You don’t have to…go… You don’t have to do anything baby…. (pauses)…
We can leave! We can just leave everything and start a new life somewhere else.
We don’t need anything…All I care about–
I gotta do this thing ma.
I ain’t runnin from nothin…
I dont wanna drag you into my world. Jus watch ya back. Dont let these jokers fool
The look on his face lets her kno….he aint comin back after he leaves. His heart belongs to a ghost.
********[PLAY “BITCH DON’T KILL MY VIBE (REMIX)” FEAT. JAY Z AT THIS POINT]********
EXT. OUTSIDE OF THE MAIN CHICKS CRIB – EARLY MORNING
The sun has barely started to rise. All that can be heard is the sound of cars in the distance n birds chirpin. Shit like that.
The handsome man walks down the driveway to the main road n looks around. Its quiet as fuck. Aint nobody around n shit.
Son claps his hands n the clouds part above him. As they twirl slowly like clothes in a laundry machine…the chariot wit the sharks pullin it emerges from the sky n swoops down in front of him.
He pauses to think n whatever. The look on his face could simultaneously melt the hearts of a million women n bring fear over any man stupid enough to fuck wit him namsayin.
Son reaches into his pocket. He pulls out a handful of bullets. After lookin at the bullets in his palm for a moment he throws em in his mouth n chews em.
Breakfast of champions.
********[PLAY SONG “NEW SHIT NO NAME” BY SEAN PRICE FEAT. STARVIN B AT THIS POINT]********
EXT. AFRICAN WILDERNESS – SUNRISE
A gorilla stands at the top of a cliff overlookin the vast landscape below him. The sun is comin up over the horizon n shit. There is fog formin a blanket over the ground. There are patches of trees here n there but mostly its jus open fields n whatever.
The gorilla is bein approached from all directions by hyenas. The gorilla appears to not notice em. Further away from em is some packs of jackals. Above him the vultures circle.
All these creatures jus waitin for they own opportunities to come to fruition namsayin….
EXT. THE STREET – SUNRISE
The handsome man is glidin along in his chariot. His eyes appear determined n focused…focused on completin the task at hand nahmean. He kno what he gotta do so he gon go handle that.
The sun is risin at his back as he rides forward. It forms a glowin aura over his entire physical as he approaches his destination.
The strip club.
EXT. THE STRIP CLUB – EARLY MORNING
The Paradise Champagne Ballroom is the most poppin strip club in town…n it never closes. Its open day n night. By the time its morning its usually jussa vast array of the weakest lames n tricks n fake ballers n straight sleazy ass muthafuckas sharin the atmosphere.
The front of the building faces the busy road. The back overlooks the ocean.
The handsome man hops outta his chariot. He looks up at the bright neon sign that hangs elegantly over the front entrance for a moment.
Its time to do Gods work.
********[PLAY SONG “CLAPPERS” BY WALE FEAT. NICKI MINAJ & JUICY J AT THIS POINT]********
INT. INSIDE OF STRIP CLUB – DAY
The handsome man walks up to the bar. A fine PYT is mixin drinks while she scrolls thru her phone. He slaps a hundred on the counter n slides it forward.
You CAN say please….
The handsome man shoots her a blank stare instead.
She pours the drink into a snifter n slides it towards son. She takes the $100 n tucks it in her bra top.
The handsome man tilts his head slightly.
She mirrors him.
Keep the change.
He knocks the drink back and takes a quick glance at the security camera above thats pointed right at him.
He motions for one more drink without sayin nothin as he reaches into his jacket.
He pulls out a crumpled photo of a dude.
Where do I find this nigga at?
As she pours his drink she looks up at him…as if she already be knowin…
Son is here for blood.
She aint shook tho.
She glances at the photo n then rests her elbow on the counter.
Honey leans in to whisper in his ear…
Even if I did know…..why the fuck would I tell you?
A lame nigga in a cream colored suit who looks like he aint been near a shower in the last 72 hours strolls up next the handsome man. He grills the handsome man. The handsome man never turns to look at the muthafucka. The lame nigga turns to the bartender chick.
Gimme another one.
Guess nobody knows how to say please anymore…
Bartender chick stops n is about to reply. Handsome man cuts her off.
(Still not lookin at the nigga) Somebody need to teach you some manners b.
Oh you capin for this bitch huh? (laughs) Listen bro…
The handsome man grabs the lame niggas head n smashes it on the counter without lookin at him. The muthafucka crumples n falls to the floor like a bag of rocks.
I aint ya bro muthafucka.
The bartender chick is only shocked for a moment.
She plays it off cool.
I coulda handled that.
Guess nobody knows how to say please OR thank you no more.
A couple security muthafuckas approach the handsome man.
SECURITY DUDE #1
We need you to come with us.
(Talkin to bartender chick) Looks like I dont need ya help after all ma.
The handsome man stands up n walks wit one of the security dudes while the other one follows em.
They go past some rooms down a corridor that lead to some stairs at the back of the building to a room guarded by two more security dudes. Theres security cameras all over the place. They get to a shiny black door. The security dude in front puts his thumb on the scanner n punches in the code…
They step into the room. Its dark n smells like lavender. The room looks like it was decorated by somebody who enjoys musicals n shit like that.
Theres a mysterious beige nigga sittin in a leather lounge chair at the other end of the room. Next to the chair is a stripper pole. Standin beside the nigga are two more security guards. On his lap theres a white kitten rockin a bow tie. The muthafucka stays seated…
He raises his hand to one of the guards n flicks his finger towards hisself one time. The guard leans in. He whispers ” Bring me a spritzer”….
The guard leaves to get his drink.
At long laaaast….we meet.
I’ve been a big admiiiirer of yours for quite a while now.
Could I have one of my manservants fetch you something? A cocktail perhaps?
(Liftin his chin n lookin up) Hmm…nah I think I’m good without none of ya bitch ass drinks.
You know…you might wanna save your little wisecracks for another day.
You wouldn’t wanna upset one of my loyal and obedient personnel…and force them to take
matters into their own haaaaands. I don’t even have to tell them. Cuz they knoooow….
(softly) They know….
Guess I should watch what I say to ya bitch ass then.
I’m going to cut to the chaaaase….
You have something I need.
The handsome man begins to unzip his jacket. Kinda slowly. The security team reacts by drawin burners on him. The beige nigga puts up his hand… Lettin em know to hold they fire. The handsome man reveals the 40 inch cuban wit the golden key hangin from it.
This what you lookin for muthafucka?
(strokin his kitten) Mmmmmhmmm
You know…what I find most peculiar about all of this…
Not only did you use my own father to find meeeee…making it easier for me to find youuuuu….
But you were actually hahaha…actually STEEEEYOOOPID enough to bring it with you. Haha
All the yes men/security niggas in the room begin to laugh.
The handsome man ain’t phased by none of this shit. He reaches down to hold look at the key in his hand….then he looks at the beige nigga.
The room gets quiet….
The beige nigga gasps softly. Like a bitch. Then he puts on his mean face…which actually looks a lot like a confused face.
You are so gonna regret that.
Guards….bring me that keeeeey.
********[PLAY SONG “GROUNDHOG DAY” BY EMINEM AT THIS POINT]********
EXT. AFRICAN WILDERNESS – SUNRISE
The Gorilla stands at the top of the cliff looking out over the vast African landscape n shit. The hyenas begin to move in closer n closer…n then they pounce.
The guards attack. Right away the handsome man grabs one dude n twists his arm behind his back n spins it like a windmill. The nigga screams…n the handsome man kicks him in the chest n that muthafucka flies into the wall like a cannonball n comes out the other side n shit.
Another muthafucka lunges at him. The handsome man catches him in the air n falls on his back to flip him over his head n the nigga breaks thru the window n lands bout 40 feet away in the water outside.
The gorilla is under attack by mad hyenas. They tryin to tear at his flesh but he hittin em wit his fists n they flyin round like paper balls n shit. He uppercuts one of em muthafuckas off the cliff n its flyin thru the sky.
A guard tries to grab the handsome man from behind. The handsome man head butts the nigga wit the back of his head. The nigga face is sprayin blood all over n his nose is split in half. The handsome man grabs dude left leg n pops his kneecap. The muthafucka crawlin away jus tryna pull hisself wit his arms n shit.
The gorilla still bein attacked from all directions. But he clockin muthafuckin hyenas in they jaws n whoopin they ass wit conviction. He bashin they skulls together n stompin on em shit.
The handsome man grabs one guard by the throat n pulls out his esophagus. The muthafucka tryin to scream but he aint got no voice box or nothin so he wavin his hands all over the place. The beige nigga standin on top of his lounge chair like he seen a mouse on the floor n shit. The handsome man grabs the dude who got no more throat n throws him at the beige nigga.
Oh my GAAAAHD…so gross so gross so gross…
The beige nigga turns to his head of security.
Get me the fuck out of here!
Security dude escorts him wit the quickness to his escape pod. The pod itself is shaped almost like a upside down dick. The beige nigga steps in. His head of security starts pushin all types of buttons to program the shit for launch. It starts up. A womans voice comes onto the speakers talmbout… “Launch initiated. Preparing for evacuation….10……….9……….8…….
(Talkin to his guard thru the glass window of the pod) Make SURE you retrieve the key.
And dont forget to record Honey Boo Boo.
His guard gives him the thumbs up.
Suddenly the guard gets his muthafuckin head smashed into the window of the escape pod like a ripe ass tomato.
The beige nigga screams. The handsome man is in front of him…they face to face for the first time.
The handsome man pounds his first against the pod window.
You gon pay for what you did to her….
What do you mean what I did to her? I SAVED her.
You should be thankin me.
*********[PLAY SONG “POWERTRIP” BY J COLE AT THIS POINT]********
EXT. CITY – LATE AFTERNOON
The beautiful woman from the handsome man’s thoughts at the beginning of the story is seen leaving her place of work namsayin. She appears to be employed at a firm or some shit. She rockin a power suit…dressed elegantly but still lookin fly af. A clean white CL 600 Benz pulls up to the front of the building. She hops in. The driver looks at her n they exchange smiles n whatever.
EXT. THE MANSION – NIGHT
Its a few hours later or whatever. The Benz is shown drivin up to a large mansion. The house looks mad old but still got a lot of character n whatever. the crib looks like it might be from the Colonial period n shit. The beautiful woman steps outta the car in long black gown.
INT. THE MANSION – NIGHT
Inside theres a party. Muthafiuckas is in formal wear n rockin white masks.
She sees the handsome man within seconds. Her lover. She recognizes him even tho his face completely concealed. He wearin a King Tut mask…shit weighs bout 80 lbs. He walks over to her. She holdin a butterfly mask over her eyes n shit….He motions to her that he would like to dance wit her.
A dude is shown rockin the kinda mask that Robin from Batman or R Kelly would wear. He glides past witta rapist type look on his face. The beige nigga.
The handsome man leaves the company of the beautiful woman to go take a leak. He walks into the bathroom.
The beautiful woman turns to get a refreshment or whatever but bumps into the beige nigga. He smiles gigantically at her. She politely smiles back at the muthafucka n continues towards the bar.
Suddenly some goons grab her. Its like 6 of em. They draggin her away. The partygoers is too shook to do anything bout it. Nobody moves.
The handsome man emerges from the bathroom as this is happenin.
He only took a leak. He aint do nothin else in the bathroom.
But he sees the goons pullin the beautiful woman away as she kickin n screamin. She reachin out towards him cryin out to him…
The sounds echo in his mind….
Suddenly damn near 100 masked bitch ass niggas come swarmin into the building. Some got swords. Some got knives. Some swingin nunchuks. The handsome man is knockin niggas out left right n center. He runnin up the walls n kickin like 5 niggas in a row while runnin on they faces n flippin tables on em. He breakin arms, legs, ribs, noses, backs….muthafuckas is gettin worked.
The 10 minutes it took for him to defeat all 100 of them bitch ass goons was enough time for the beige nigga to escape wit the beautiful woman without no trace or nothin.
You destroyed her from the inside. You n all ya little minions n shit….
You turned her….
********[PLAY SONG “NO NEW FRIENDS (REMIX)'” FEAT. RICK ROSS & LIL WAYNE AT THIS POINT]********
The beautiful woman is in a room. The room is all white. She is a prisoner. She dressed in a sweatshirt n sweatpants wit her hair in a ponytail n got no makeup on.
In front of her is a screen. Theres different scenes n shit flickerin on it.
There is a image of Daenerys Targaryen from Game Of Thrones. It burns ups n suddenly a picture of Sansa Stark rises outta the ashes.
Theres phrases playin over a loud speaker n shit….
“You are beautiful n you don’t even know it.”
“You are good enough”
“You don’t need all that makeup to impress me”
“I accept you the way you are”
The end of the movie An Officer And A Gentleman plays…where the broad gets carried outta the factory she works at by Richard Gere dressed in his white navy uniform.
The words LET – ME – SAVE – YOU appear on the screen one by one.
The images of chicks shakin they ass at the camera start flashin on the screen…between images of dudes handin the females gifts of jewelry n broads ridin on the back of horses holdin onto they man.
The shit goes on for days….
Her eyes begin to gloss over.
She is broken.
You’re not looking at the bigger picture, man. (places his hand on window)
Together….usin the keeeeeey….we can control ALL these bitches minds….
********[PLAY SONG “WILD FOR THE NIGHT” BY A$AP ROCKY AT THIS POINT]********
INT. A LARGE TENT – NIGHT
The handsome man is sittin in a circle witta group of 3 warriors. They are elders. Men wit long ass white beards.
The tent is made from the hide of buffalos. Incense is burnin.
There is a small wooden box in front of each of the old muthafuckas. The first dude opens the box in front of him.
There is a pipe. He lights the pipe n a purple smoke fills the air around him n shit. He inhales deeply n exhales a cloud. A purple dragon appears from the smoke n turns into a small tornado n flies into the chest of the handsome man. This is for strength.
The second dude opens the box in front of him. He removes a cassette tape from the box… Paid In Full. The first Eric B & Rakim album. The tape is still sealed. Yo thats kinda rare bruh. He doesnt want the handsome man to forget the essence from which he came from namsayin.
The last man opens the box in front of him. Inside is the golden key n the 40 inch cuban link chain. He removes it from the box. This shit….it dont do nothin. Its jussa dope piece. Over 40 carats of internally flawless D & E colored diamonds. You jus dont see shit like this ever yo.
JOIN ME…. We’ll be unstoppable.
The pod is equipped witta air moisture excelerator that provides the beige nigga wit the correct PH balance for his skin. Bein that he travellin to depths below sea level within a confined space…his highly sensitive skin becomes dry n brittle n stops producin the natural lotions it usually do when he at lower elevations. Son’s t-zone becomes flaky n his hands stop feelin like wet baby thighs. This is the muthafucka’s main weakness.
The handsome man looks the nigga in the eyes.
I don’t think so…
He pulls out the hose that connects the air moisture excelerator to the inside of the pod.
You only die once muthafucka…
The beige nigga screams.
The pod ejaculates itself into the ocean below.
********[PLAY SONG “THE DEVIL IS A LIE” BY RICK ROSS FEAT. JAY Z AT THIS POINT]********
EXT. THE AFRICAN WILDERNESS – DAY
The gorilla stands motionless. Suddenly a cyclone of all the rocks n tree branches n whatever begin to swirl around him. The hyenas n the vultures above him are sucked into the vortex. The jackals in the distance start tryin to flee from all this shit.
The ground begins to shake as the earth crumbles beneath em. The only ground that remains is what is under the feet of the gorilla. He stands on top of a pillar of rock. The layers of the earth can be seen on the sides of the tower of rock thats left behind in the aftermath namsayin.
His enemies have been thwarted n shit. They thwarted af.
***[PLAY SONG “BIRD’S EYE VIEW” BY STATIK SELEKTAH FEAT. RAEKWON, JOEY BADA$$ & BLACK THOUGHT AT THIS POINT]***
EXT. TOP OF A VOLCANO – NIGHT
The handsome man stands at the mouth of a volcano. He looks down at the lava as it swirls n bubbles around like spaghetti sauce in a pot nahmean. Eagles fly around him as the sound of warrior drums play in the distance.
NARRATOR (MORGAN FREEMAN)
He thinks deeply about the beautiful woman that he couldnt save from bein “saved from herself”. It will never leave him. But it is what gives him the determination to confront the fuckboys that were raised off of soy milk who continue to plague the earth.
NARRATOR #2 (JAMES EARL JONES)
We are living in the age of dudes rockin mini skirts while getting their eyebrows shaped at salons…shit like that. Muthafuckas seem to be content to rap in haikus and let debutantes like Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber represent hip hop in the mainstream. It is like a will.i.am song coming to life outchea.
NARRATOR #2 (BONO)
To bring a stop to a pandemic…you yourself must be immune to it. You cannot just confront it head on. That is, unless you have the fire of a thousand stars boiling within your veins….like cocaine in your biceps and entire galaxies for knuckles. Like having volcanoes for hands. Like having the genetic coding of Thor within your molecules. Like being the Hands of Zeus.
*Fade to black*
Written, conceptualized, conceived, birthed, n executed wit greatness by Big Ghost aka the mighty HandsOf Zeus