Ayo whattup… Feel free to take a moment to allow my presence to be felt once again nahmean. You back in the midst of the mighty Hands of Zeus aka Galaxy Knuckles aka Shampoo Bracelets the panty melter aka Broccoli Bundles aka Phantom Ravilois otherwise known as the infamous Thor Molecules…but you might kno me as Spartacus Deluxe or the world famous Caviar Tusks. Welcome back to the Cappuccino Lounge…amongst the exquisite furs n luxurious velvet surfaces n shit. Bask in the radiance of my glorious abode. Now we here to discuss whats gon probably be the biggest album of the year by one of the greatest rappers that ever walked the earth. First off…if Drake jus popped in ya head after readin that last sentence you should smack yaself bruh. Word is bond. If Tyga popped in ya head after readin that sentence you should probably jus do the honorable thing n commit seppuku witta hot butter knife or some broken glass tho. G’head nigga.
If the name Eminem dont ring a bell…either you been livin under a rock in exile on a abandoned desert island in another dimension in prehistoric times n shit….or you from North Dakota or some shit. Either way you a individual thats disconnected from reality n you need to wise up yo. I aint gon give you all types of back story on son cuz most yall done already seen the movie…you done heard his music n read the interviews… Sons life done been a open book for so long that muthafuckas can tell you more bout Marshall Bruce Mathers III than they can they own family members n shit. Wikipedia that fool. This the man who gave the world the word “Stan” to describe a nigga that stans. Before “Stan” there wasnt even a word for stannin b…thats how serious it is. Maybe thats cuz before Eminem it wasnt any stans out there like that. Not in the mass armies that they exist in nowadays n shit. Mighta been some groupies n dickridin ass niggas who aint kno how to chill when it came to they favorite artists n athletes n what have you… But when muthafuckas took it to that next level…when it became acceptable for dudes to be gettin swept up in some pandemonium type shit n obsess over another man like he was ya soul mate n shit…not even on jus some regular ol superfan shit…. Before the word “stan” you woulda needed to say “groupie” or “dickrider” AND “stalker” AND “loser” AND “delusional ass muthafucka” to get the point across. You hadda use like 6 adjectives to describe the level of obsessive dickridery that was occurrin n shit. But after the Eminem shit it was like we had the all inclusive terminology for that nahmean. So yanno…credit is due for that namsayin.
Now even tho son named this shit The Marshall Mathers LP 2 he wanted to be very clear that this wasnt no sequel to The Marshall Mathers LP. Which is basically like if they made a movie called Forrest Gump 2 n said YA BUT IT AINT A SEQUEL JUS FYI…SO DONT EXPECT IT TO BE LIKE THE ORIGINAL. Think he was callin this album a “revisitation” or some shit. But we was talmbout Stans…which brings us to the first track of this muthafucka…
1. Bad Guy – This shit is the sequel to “Stan”. Now if you heard that Marshall had a sequel to “Stan” on his new album before hearin that shit you might be like getthefuckouttahere… Like how you gon make a sequel to some shit like that? I mean first of all…”Stan” is a classic…might even be like top 3 greatest story rap joints ever along wit some Ice Cube or Slick Rick or Biggie shit that I aint gon get into right now namsayin. Word is bond…thats probably a top 10 rap song of all time…PERIOD. I mean how you gon make a sequel to ya masterpiece b…ya magnum opus n whatever.. What you gon have Stan come back as a ghost who writes letters n shit? Stan the ghost gon be leavin comments on ya facebook page n blowin ya twitter up or some shit? Truth be told I aint een kno that thats what this shit was. I thought he was kickin his album off wit some shit bout Mariah or that it was like some of his usual deranged stalker/serial killer shit he love doin. I actually aint realize what the fuck was happenin til like the third verse to be truthful. Ion wanna give away the plot n shit for anybody who aint heard it or maybe jus aint made the connection yet neither…but its some surprises on this track. Aint a lot of muthafuckas in this world who coulda pulled this shit off yo. Im talkin this degree of artistry nahmean. This shit got levels. Theres a switch up in the beat towards the end where he starts pourin his heart out n shit…but its all good cuz this probably his best song since like…Ionno… Actually yo before I say anything bout that I should mention that I was a big fan of The Slim Shady LP…n The Marshall Mathers LP was a classic…but I wasnt really the biggest Eminem Show fan. I actually fucks wit more shit off what yall done officially declared his “worst” album…which is Encore. Not sayin Encore a better album but I listen to more shit off that muthafucka to this day than anything on The Eminem Show. I wasnt a big fan of Relapse neither…I mean Ion listen to that shit like at all b. It had some aight joints…but mostly it was some fuckery on that shit. Recovery was a step in the right direction but the shit also aint feel like a reeeeaaal Eminem album. Even tho all them shits had some good joints sprinkled here n there on em I aint really fuck wit them like that. So to ME… this shit is the most high caliber n impressive shit he done made since like MMLP. To ME. This shit is jus more elevated n clever…n jus put together better than any the shit he started doin round The Eminem Show nahmean. You can get mad at that but it aint gon change nothin…fuckouttahere.
2. Parking Lot (skit) This shit jus picks up where that little skit in the middle of “Criminal” off MMLP left off…which means it coulda been a decent intro to the album too. I mean shit woulda made sense to ME…but I aint executive produce this shit so who am I to say namsayin. I guess it was a coin toss between this shit n “Bad Guy” in the end. One thing I noticed is it was only one skit on this LP. Recovery aint had ANY skits but that shit was his “serious” album so I guess that makes sense. Im thankful that its no Ken Kaniff gettin dome from two dudes on this shit but I wouldnt had minded a phone call from Paul Rosenberg to really get the nostalgia poppin. But anyways…
3. Rhyme Or Reason – Ok now this is where we hit a speed bump (slow down baby)… The legendary Rick Rubin produced this shit. Ion gotta explain what makes son legendary…yall should google that muthafucka if you really dont kno his resume like that nahmean. This track got a couple issues tho. I mean its all good if niggas wanna think outside the box instead of stickin to the same formulas that worked for em before n shit…but there gotta be lines drawn someplace bruh. You might be lettin the creative juices flow a little too close to the ponds of corniness here b. This sounds like some shit that Chippendale muthafuckas strip for old white broads to. I mean its cool…if you into that kinda shit. Rick sampled some hippy shit from the 60s…n then Em re-sang the whole damn chorus of the original to the same melody n jus changed up the words. I think the shit is bout his dad but he keep goin off topic so Ion really kno. The shit is aight…Em always got some classic rock shit on his albums so I expected it but this shit kinda corny lyrically n musically.
4. So Much Better – Now this more like it. Shit got that familiar Eminem feel to it but still sounds kinda fresh namsayin. Its exactly what a updated MMLP should sound like b. On top of that he back on his female-bashin shit…which aint necessarily my personal favorite topic or nothin but son jus sounds reinvigorated…n if thats what its gon take then so be it my nigga. After he took that 5 year hiatus between ’04 n ’09 it was like it took a minute for son to regain his confidence n get back to his old self a little bit. But this shit jus sounds right. The hook should give his fans that ol familiar feelin n shit too.
5. Survival – I aint gon lie. First time I heard this shit my reaction was basically NAH FUCK THIS SHIT. But it aint a bad track. Im that one muthafucka in the room who dont lose his got damn mind whenever “Lose Yourself ” comes on the radio or some shit tho. Like I cant really stand that shit unless its while its playin at the end of 8 Mile nahmean. This track got the same YOU CAN DO IT vibe but its not as dramatic bout all that. Its actually a little over the top wit the smashin drums n guitars shit but it still kinda knocks. But I guess thats why it was made for a video game n shit. If you fucks wit 80s german heavy metal type shit n Vin Diesel movies or you jus want some mood music to rock crazy Affliction gear to…this song might be for you nahmean.
6. Legacy – This shit sound kinda like the Recovery album n MMLP had a baby. I mean that shit…listen to it n tell me that aint exactly what this muthafucka sound like. The song title is basically exactly what the shit is bout. Son is walkin us thru his past…from his childhood to now…again. Ion wanna be the insensitive muthafucka who says shit like DOG YOU GOTTA GET OVER THE FACT YOU GOT BULLIED AT SCHOOL ALREADY. YOU A GROWN MAN NOW…LET THAT SHIT GO so I aint sayin shit bout all that. But it WOULD be nice if we moved the fuck on from that topic for good. He got some nice lines on this one tho…
Me against the world? So what…Im Brian Dawkins
versus the whole 0 and 16 Lions offense
So bring on the Giants Falcons and Miami Dolphins…
The track aint bad but it dont really stand out neither. I aint mad at it tho. It keeps the album flowin…
7. Asshole (feat. Skylar Grey) – To be perfectly honest wit yall…anytime I see the words “Featuring Skylar Grey” or “Produced by Alex da Kid” I usually assume its bout to be some shit I aint gon enjoy. But I aint all the way mad at this shit. I mean the hook probably the worst part bout it tho. This shit is basically a continuation of the last song. He goin at Asher Roth a lil bit on the 2nd verse…which is like dissin one of the muthafuckas in Black Eyed Peas that aint will.i.am or Fergie. As in we kno who the fuck he is but whyyyyy the fuck you talkin bout em at all? I mean son went from bein the poor man’s Eminem to the poor man’s Mac Miller. Why you aint diss this dude when you dropped Relapse n son was relevant? When son looked like he was bout to blow. You jus gettin offended NOW? Im tellin you tho…its a confidence thing b. Em felt like maybe his time had passed back in ’09. He dont feel like that now I guess.August 8, 2016
Ayo whattup its the mighty benevolent honorable Big Ghost aka the illustrious Cocaine Biceps aka the world renowned Thor Molecules aka Bandana Guitars aka Shampoo Bracelets the panty melter aka Galaxy Knuckles aka Lamborghini Saxophones n all that back up in this muthafucka one more time. I thought you knew…but you aint kno… As you can see I aint really been doin too much postin on this here site over the past year n change namsayin. I been focused on tryna bless the culture from a more musical standpoint instead of jus shittin on muthafuckas for turnin hip hop into a platform for cats wit purple n red wigs n aerobics outfits on to defile the art form n insult the intelligence of the entire human race namsayin. Thats the algorithms the god is on right now b. So I figured it might be a not so terrible idea to let my dog n fellow chancellor of academia Ironside Hex aka Kielbasa Tejano aka Mushroom Disco aka Skechers Papi do his thing on here today since he really really think he somebody special namsayin. So here he is back like syphilis wit his political pundit observations n criticisms of humankind n whatever. But yo… Hex really broke out the monocle for this one b. If you kno Hex n try to picture that you already kno how crazy that shit is namsayin. This is for the thinkers b. This for muthafucaks who keep they braincells percolatin. But yo if you aint sophisticated n intelligent enough to wanna ponder some fly shit this aint for you muthafucka. Aight peep the fly shit…
People are stupid.
Before you read another word you will have to come to terms with that fact.
I’m gonna use that word A LOT.
People are inherently stupid.
This election cycle proves that more than any other in my lifetime.
It brings the stupid out of folks. Katrina Pierson, Boris Ephstyn ( I know that’s not how you spell his name but I don’t give a fuck ), Jeffery Lord, Paul Manafort, Kayleigh Mcenany, Scottie Neil Hughes, Dr.Ben Carson, Carl Higbie, Mark Brown, Darrell Scott, Corey Lewandowski, Jeff Sessions, Omarosa, Jan Brewer etc.
They’ve got two things in common;
1. These are brilliant people.
2. They work for or support the Trump campaign which has pulled every ounce of stupid out of them & brought it to the forefront.
Trust me when I say that there is nothing I enjoy more than watching a Trump surrogate or supporter twist themselves into a pretzel on CNN trying to defend some dumb shit Trump has said. It’s kind of frustrating but fun to watch them lie, feign ignorance, & try to deflect questions.
TRUMP: “I AM GOD.”
“Mr.Trump said, ‘I AM GOD’. Thoughts?”
TRUMP SURROGATE: “Let’s talk about the REAL issue here, Hillary Clinton’s emails.”
Watching reasonably bright people try to defend the ramblings of an idiot is comical too.
TRUMP: “I can walk on water & not get wet.”
CNN ANCHOR: “Mr.Trump said that he ‘can walk on water & not get wet’. Thoughts?”
TRUMP SURROGATE: “Let’s talk about the REAL issue here, Hillary Clinton’s emails.”
I can’t even list all of the dumb shit Trump has said, it’s too fucking much. Recently he did an interview & said that Putin wasn’t going to go into the Ukraine. When the interviewer informed him that Putin had already invaded Ukraine Trump tried to say he meant that if he was president Putin wouldn’t fuck with Ukraine. No idiot, we heard you the first time. He ran to Twitter as usual & tried to clean it up. Too late. Trump doesn’t wanna be the President, he wants to be the Twitterdent.
This feud between Trump & the Khan family is beyond stupid. The immigrant Muslim parents of Army Captain Humayan Khan who was killed by a suicide bomber in Iraq, appeared on stage at the Democratic National Convention in Philly. This is a Gold Star family, a family whose son or daughter has made the ultimate sacrifice for this country.
The father gave a rousing speech in broken yet articulate English, about Trump’s stance on Muslim immigration. his wife & the mother of Captain Khan standing silently by his side. At the conclusion of his speech Mr.Khan told Trump that he had “sacrificed nothing” & offered Trump his copy of the U.S. Constitution to read.
The shit hit the fan.
Of course the Twittander & Twief jumped on Twitter & started mashing those keys, pounding out some bullshit. He actually accused Mr.Khan of “viciously attacking” him, of being a political operative & pawn of the Clinton campaign, & of politicizing his son’s death. That’s sorta funny because a week before he had Patricia Smith, the mother of Benghazi victim Sean Smith, on stage at the Republican National Convention tearing Hillary Clinton a new one, DEFINITELY politicizing her son’s death. Let’s be clear, “War is the continuation of politics by other means”, so any war related death is political, just as a death at a clandestine foreign outpost is. Trump is a fucking idiot. I just wrote that here because that’s what I was thinking. Trump also intoned that maybe the mother didn’t speak because her Muslim faith wouldn’t allow her to.
What a fucking idiot.
There’s an overflow of so much stupidity every time he opens his mouth. From encouraging violence at his rallies & offering to pay for any legal fees the participants may incur, to calling a U.S. federal judge who was born in Indiana a “Mexican” & saying that he couldn’t be impartial or perform his duties due to his Mexican heritage. “The very definition of racism”, said Speaker of the House Paul Ryan, one of Trump’s fellow Republicans. More on his dumb-ass later.
Trump is just incredibly stupid.
He tried to say some goofy shit about the Democratic candidate for Vice President Tim Kaine, citing all of New Jersey’s failures & shortcomings under his leadership as governor. That’s cool, candidates always criticize each other during campaigns, it’s to be expected. The only thing is, Tim Kaine was governor of VIRGINIA. Trump’s pal ( personal ass licker ) Chris Christie is governor of New Jersey.
What else did this dumb muthafucka do… Oh yeah. How about when he mocked a disabled reporter, or when he called Mexicans rapists, or when he said “I know more about Isis than the generals do, believe me.”
Believe me, indeed.
Some people do believe him. Some probably probably think that he knows more about Isis than al-Baghdadi. You know what we call people who believe Trump?
I wonder when was the last time he went to church before he began running for president. I wonder if he can quote “two Corinthians”? If you’re an evangelical & you believe Trump is a God-fearing man?
You believe that a man who procured FIVE deferments for the Vietnam War ( & lied about watching the draft numbers being called from his college dorm room ) is going to save you from Isis? A guy who let other guys die in his place in Vietnam. If you think a bully & a coward is going to protect you?
You think a person that makes all his products in other countries is gonna suddenly move all of his interests back to Amerikkka & give you a job, or make all the other companies that left Amerikka come back & employ you?
You think a man that praises Vladimir Putin, leader of our arch-enemy Russia & Kim JongUn, the psychotic leader of North Korea really has Amerikkka’s best interest & security in mind?
If you have endorsed Trump but you constantly have to refute his asinine comments but refuse to rescind your endorsement…then guess what?
You’re stupid. ( I’m looking at you Paul Ryan / Mitch McConnell )
Let me say that I’m REALLY disappointed in these two. They aren’t exactly at the level of dick-sucking that we watched Chris Christie sink to but they still know how much of an ass Trump is & they still endorse him.
If u get fired by Trump & you continue to kiss his ass like Corey Lewandowski, you know what you are?
Trump wants to build a wall on the U.S. / Mexico border. He plans on making the Mexican government pay for it. Mexico’s president has already said that there is “NO WAY” that they would pay for such a wall which would cost at least 12 billion USD to construct. A ladder only costs about 75 bucks. If you think that
Trump would ever be able to build that wall at Mexico’s expense…
Trump has made no? bones about trying to “Make Amerikkka’s Great Again” which is basically a dog whistle that means let’s take it back to the ’50s. I dunno if it’s 1850 or 1950 but I don’t wanna go back to either. I don’t wanna be a fucking slave & have you ever seen any black people on LEAVE IT TO BEAVER? Me neither. I don’t know what in the fuck these muthafuckas are thinking. The main boot-lickers are Mark Burns, Darrell Scott, Sheriff Clarke,
Dr.BenCarson, Omarosa, & those two jigaboos Diamond & Silk.
Either one of these coons would snitch on Harriet Tubman & they are not to be trusted by anybody black. I’m pretty sure that Clarke, Scott & Burns think that they’re white & probably have white wives & kids named “Colt” & “Becky”.
If you’re black & you support Trump….wait for it…
You’re a fucking idiot.
If you go on CNN & attempt to slander Barack Obama & Hillary Clinton & blame them for Captain Khan’s death, you should probably check to see who was president when he died. It was 2004, Bush was president.
If you stand up & tell reporters that Melania Trump didn’t plagiarize parts of her RNC speech from Michelle Obama after we all saw the comparison video…
You’re stupid. ( I’m looking at u Paul Manafort )
If you want to give the nuclear codes to a nimrod that didn’t even know what the nuclear triad was ( even I know what the nuclear triad is & I’m dumb as a dead brick. Submarines, bombers, & ICBM’s )…
If you leave tax reform up to a tax cheat who won’t release his taxes…
Think about this.
The Great God of the GOP, Ronald Reagan, gave his first post nomination speech in Philadelphia, Mississippi where three civil rights workers had been murdered in 1964. He didn’t talk about black & white unity, but rather about “states rights”. Dog whistle. He’s also buried at his library in Simi Valley, CA. where the officers who beat Rodney King were tried & acquitted, thus sparking the LA riots of 92.
If you think that Trump is an anomaly & his rhetoric isn’t an accurate reflection of the Republican party…
If you wear one of those dumb-ass “MAKE AMERIKKA GREAT AGAIN” hats you know how you look?
If you don’t catch my theme, then you’re stupid as fuck.
Everything Trump has done is idiotic. Do u really want to put an orange demagogue into the White House?
Trump doesn’t even want to be President, he just wants to win. He has no? idea how to BE president. This dunce would cause an international incident everytime he opened his ridiculous mouth.
So fucking stupid.
What really pisses me off is how the Trump campaign tries to make us the stupid ones. Trump will say or do something incredibly stupid & you’re like, “I SAW THAT!”, then Trump’s campaign says, “NO? YOU DIDN’T”. They try to pull a Jedi mind trick on you.
Just insult the fuck out of your intelligence.
Trump doesn’t have a monopoly on stupidity, tho. He has his own special brand of it to be sure, but it isn’t his & his alone.
Democrats do stupid shit too.
These email incidents are fucking ridiculous. From Hillary using private email servers & sending & receiving classified information, to the Russians hacking into the DNC’s emails.
Wikileaks released them resulting in DNC chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz stepping down & three other officials resigning with more to come. The leaked emails showed the DNC actively working against one of their own candidates, Bernie Sanders, discussing ways to slander him, including using his religion. Basically the DNC got exposed for doing the type of shit we thought only Republicans did. Why did they actually write that type of shit down & send it in an electronic transmission? Democrats need to start using smoke signals or something.
Dems also have an optics problem. Why in the fuck would Bill Clinton get off of his plane, walk across the tarmac to board another plane & go kick the willie-bo-bo with Loretta Lynch, the attorney general of the United States? The lady who makes the final decision on whether or not your wife Hillary gets indicted for her email scandal? Yeah, Bill & A.G. Lynch supposedly talked about golf & grand kids. Yeah, whatever. I don’t care if they talked about the God particle or the lyrics to “HIT EM UP”. The shit LOOKED bad. Why the fuck would Bill go talk to her?
(Side note, Hillary didn’t get indicted. Go figure.)
Now this shit about Amerikkka sending Iran $400 mil in assorted currency at the same time that Iran released four Amerikkkan hostages.
This shit is actually more complicated than it looks.
First of all, this is Iran’s own money that Amerikka has had since the 70’s for an arm’s deal that fell apart after the Shah was overthrown. This payment was a side deal of the larger Iran nuclear deal. It was kind of like, “ok, we’ll do the deal, but we need a sweetener. How about that 400 mil ya’ll owe us from ’79?”
The hostage release talks had already been underway on a separate track from this deal but Iran didn’t release them until the money was on the ground.
I know, I know, it looks like ransom money. I don’t know what actually happened & I don’t profess to know. I just know that the optics are fucking terrible. To be fair tho the Iranians could have purposely made it look like a ransom payment to create a certain narrative favorable to them. It’s feasible. They have done something like I t before. In 1981 they released 52 Amerikkan hostages as soon as Ronald Reagan was inaugurated. Although President Carter’s administration had done all the legwork the Republican narrative was that the Iranians so feared Reagan that they released the hostages. Bullshit. If they wanna take ownership of that they gotta own the release of the 11-12 billion dollars of Iran’s assets that was frozen when Iran seized the Amerikkkan embassy in 1979 during the Shah’s removal. The release of the hostages coincided with Reagan’s inauguration b/c Iran didn’t want to start the negotiation process over again with a new administration. So, hostages home, no muss no fuss with the Reagan administration, & a few years later, voila!
So, both hostage releases involved shit that occurred in the ’70’s. & money that already belonged to Iran. The difference is the narrative. The GOP wants to own the actual release of the hostages without mentioning the 11-12 billion that Iran was given back to ensure their freedom. But the optics look good for Republicans, Iran releases the hostages as soon as mighty Reagan is elected!
A lot of bullshit, smoke, mirrors & omitting the truth.
So with all that said, although it’s all in how you frame the facts this 400 mil looks like a ransom.
For Hillary to do a damn interview & say that FBI director Comey found her to have been truthful during his investigation into her emails is a goddamn lie. We heard what Comey said, & it wasn’t that Hillary was honest as George Washington.
Telling that lie was…
Look, Hillary Clinton has been in politics her whole adult life. Of course she lies.
SHE’S A POLITICIAN.
They all lie. It’s what they do.
Don’t act surprised or act indignant.
That brings me to all the non-voters, Bernie or Bust-ers. & third / fourth party voters.
I have to be careful right here because I have a lot of respect for a muthafucka who sticks to their guns. However, this ain’t the election to try & make a point. Now, if you don’t care who wins between Trump & Hillary then by all means do your thug-thizzle. Don’t vote.
Vote for Santa Claus, fuck it.
I know it’s hard for some Bernie people to fathom voting for Clinton. A dude gave me an analogy, “if someone stole your car would you put gas in it for him?” I responded, “fuck yeah, if he was driving me away from someone trying to kill me!”
I know, I know.
“Voting is a scam!”, “the system is rigged!”, “Illuminati!”, “Rothschilds!”, “Bilderberg Group!”, “New World Order!”, and all that other Alex Jones shit.
I don’t give a fuck.
I’m voting just in case this voting shit is real. I have my doubts but at least I’ll be able to look my kids in the face.
I tried to stop the tangerine colored muthafucka.
I just don’t understand people voting for a person who they know has absolutely no chance to win. None. If you don’t want Trump to win you have to hold your nose & vote for Clinton. Neither Dr.Stein or Gary Johnson have a chance to become president. Not a fucking chance. Its like its the Broncos versus the Panthers in the Superbowl & you’re betting on m the Cleveland Browns. We’ve seen this movie before. Remember 2000 when Ralph Nader fucked up the election for Al Gore & gave us George “Devil #2” Bush? Or in 1991 when Ross Perot shit on Bush 41? At least we got Bill out of that one. Or when George Wallace handed Nixon the presidency from Humphrey in 1968? I think there are some more but I’m too lazy to look. You get my drift? All a third or fourth party can do is spoil some shit & we can’t guarantee that the bad guy will lose.
I get it tho. You want to vote for someone who you’re proud to say that you cast your ballot for.
That shit is stupid.
Fuck that. This is real life.
If you really care about this country you’ll vote for whoever has the best chance of beating Trump. I wouldn’t care if Hillary Clinton shot both of my kids in the face in the middle of the street, I would still vote for her over Trump.
This is an either / or choice. This isn’t a multiple choice test, this is a TRUE or FALSE test ( or a FALSE & FALSE test ). I promise you, in 2020 as long as Trump isn’t running for president I’m with ya’ll. I’ll vote for Bugs Bunny, D.B. Cooper, Tupac, whoever ya’ll want. I fully agree that we need a third party, maybe even a fourth, but this ain’t the year for that shit. Trump gotta go. Fuck all that idealistic hippie shit & running around wearing Guy Fawkes masks, lighting firecrackers & calling it a revolution. If you’re not Mr.Robot or a member of Anonymous trying to actively dismantle the system then you’re just a person pissed that your candidate didn’t win & trying to fuck it up for everyone else. Trump is reckless bordering on psychotic. He doesn’t understand working for the people. He wants to rule the people. Trump wants to set up a quasi-royal family complete with himself as King of Amerikkka & his sons & daughters as princes & princesses. Look at how he talks about himself in the third person. He’s a world class narcissist who thinks that other people exist just to serve him. We can’t let a man like that anywhere near the nuclear codes. If you still can’t bring yourself to pull that lever for Clinton think about the Supreme Court. Scalia is finally dead & we don’t need the King of Assholes appointing 2 or more justices just like him & shaping the country for the next 20+ years. They’ll be ruling on challenges concerning both civil rights & a woman’s right to choose. Trump will be dead & gone & his stench will still linger behind, suffocating the fuck out of us for years to come. Look, I’ve got two daughters. Two black females, one who happens to be gay. I don’t want a Republican anywhere near the White House, especially a Know-Nothing Know-It-All like Trump.
I hated George W. Bush but he never made me want to leave the damn country. I’m trying to learn the fucking words to “O CANADA” right now. I’m actually proud of the Bushes for saying “FUCK TRUMP” & skipping the RNC. Ditto for Lindsey Graham & John Kasich. I’d usually say “FUCK THEM” but those boys done good this time around. I’ve had my own love-hate relationship with Amerikkka over the years, but I’ve never been embarrassed to be from here before.
Now I’m fucking ashamed.
Even if Trump loses the fact that there are actually people here who believe in his stupidity makes me want to get the fuck out of here. I don’t wanna be around anyone who is that poorly educated that they believe Trump.
Even some Republicans know that Trump’s a damn clown. A fucking carnival barker. Naw, even worse. Someone told me on Twitter that he’s like the clown in the dunk tank who insults everybody that walks by. Agitating them until they either shell out a few bucks to try & dunk his dumb-ass or leave.
Still not convinced?
Don’t think about it as voting FOR Hillary, think of it as voting AGAINST Trump.
There’s more here at stake than having another Clinton in the White House.
We have to keep Trump out.
Don’t be stupid.
Ayo whattup the legendary Apocalypse Hands aka Volcano Hands aka The Mighty Hands of Zeus hisself is back up in the chateau n whatnot. We have a special guest amongst us once again…my brother from another: Ironside Hex aka Sausage Calypso aka Garlic Mouf aka Barack O’bieber aka Manute Bogues aka Stained Tall Tees etc etc is back in effect like herpes simplex to share another adventure from the days of old n whatever. This is a privileged honor as usual namsayin.. First off I jus wanna say REST IN POWER to the almighty legendary Sean Price aka Ruck aka Ruckus aka Decepticon Sean aka Tawl Sean aka P! aka Kimbo Price aka Mic Tyson aka Scagnetti aka Gray Hulk aka Seanwuar aka that man who punched son thru a pizza shop window forreal. Shit still breaks my heart n makes tears fall under my face whenever I think bout his passing n makes me wanna rip the steering wheel off in the whip whenever I hear “Shut The Fuck Up” or “Bar-Barian” or “Onion Head”. Sean P left a very unique n extraordinary boot print on the ass of the world nahmean. Thankfully its still more music left in the tuck n we probably gon be hearin unreleased joints n rediscovering old shit by Ruck for years to come. But right now Ima let the homie Hex take yall on a trip down memory lane…or more specifically THE AUTOBAHN OF MEMORIES. Take it away, Fuckface…
Sean Price, 3/17/1972 – 8/8/2015
That’s how long the great Sean Price has been gone. It took me a long time to come to grips with that. For months after he passed I just pretended he was overseas on tour & that was the reason I wasn’t talking to him. I just sorta ignored the fact that he wasn’t sending me any retarded emails or saying any slick shit to me on social media. Sometimes I’ll say something about him on Twitter & his wife Bernadette ( who has access to his social media ) will retweet it from his account. Seeing “Gray Hulk Retweeted your Tweet” & the “@SeanPrice” handle always makes me grin.
I miss that guy.
He was a crazy muthafucka.
Ruck kept you laughing, he was funny as fuck. He was
“Eddie Murphy in the 80’s” funny. He could get mad pretty quick tho. 0 to 1000 in .02 seconds. That would be funny too. People that didn’t know him would be shook, & that would make the shit even funnier. When Ruck passed I did a three part tribute to him on All Hip Hop, detailed how we met & told a few stories. On this day, the first anniversary of his death, I was gonna post a sappy letter to him, just telling him what’s been going on & that we miss him, blah blah. Fuck that. I realized that shit would be more about me & some other folks ya’ll could give less than a fuck about. So I figured if it ain’t broke don’t fix it, I’ll tell another quick Sean Price story. I told this story before on Instagram but it was the Readers Digest abridged version. This is the whole shit. I’ll call this one, “CONSPIRACY TO COMMIT MURDER ON THE AUTOBAHN” or “DOG, YOU’RE TRIPPING”.
This shit is extra stupid, but it shows how Ruck could be furious & still hilarious at the same time.
It was 2007, the THREE THE HARD WAY tour, featuring Sean Price, Guilty Simpson, & Black Milk, pre-Random Axe. We were some-fucking-where in Germany & we had an early lobby call so we could head to the next city. It was about 6 or 7 am when everybody started to come down to the lobby, dragging their bags & their feet. I was already down there with our tour manager, Nils, this young German dude. I was sprawled on a chair, still drunk from the show the night before. We got up, went outside to the parking lot & started throwing luggage in the rear of the van. After Black’s slow-ass came straggling to the vehicle we were ready to go. Nils was driving, I was in the passenger seat, Ruck & Rustee Juxx ( Ruck’s ‘hypeman’ ) were directly behind me with Guilty & Black Milk having the last two rows of seats to themselves. I popped in our advance bootleg copy of JayZ’s “American Gangster” CD & we were off. Everybody was lethargic, but after a while everyone started waking up a little & talking shit as usual. This was 07 so somebody said “PAUSE” in the middle or at the end of every sentence. We ‘PAUSED’ the shit out of each other constantly. It was like a spoken punctuation. You know what “PAUSE” is right? It’s used as a disclaimer when someone unwittingly says something that can be construed as homoerotic shit. Like if somebody says, “NAW, I AINT HIP TO THAT. FILL ME IN” or “DUMARS USE TO BE ALL OVER JORDAN. HIS ‘D’ WAS RIDICULOUS”.
That type of shit would get a “PAUSE”.
Juvenile as fuck.
This is the type of environment this debacle takes place in.
First you gotta understand that English isn’t Nils first language & he doesn’t really understand all the nuances of it. He kind of just mimicked or repeated what we said without fully grasping what we meant. Ok, the scene is set. We were talking shit & Ruck said something benign like “I’M HUNGRY”.
Nils jumped on it.
This was his chance.
“PAWS!”, he yelled.
He looked around at everyone in the van, kind of looking for approval. We got sort of quiet. We weren’t trying to be rude to Nils but to make that statement pauseworthy was a reach. Suddenly Ruck leaned forward from the seat behind me. “Yo son, can u drive this van?”
I looked over at the driver seat, looked at the steering wheel, shift selector, pedals, etc. It was a normal set up. I didn’t know what Ruck had in mind but sure, I could drive the van.
“Yup”, I replied, curious as to why he asked me that.
“Good”, he said. “I’m gonna kill this n***a Nils, & we’re gonna dump his body on the side of the road. You can drive us to the next venue.” Nils was white as a ghost. I kinda looked at Nils & shrugged. Then I turned around & looked at Ruck, searching his face for a hint of a smile or something that would tell me he was bullshitting. There was none. I realized that Sean Price was serious as fuck.
“Dog, you’re tripping.” I said.
I mean, first of all we were in fucking Germany, I had no idea where we were going. Plus we were on the fucking Autobahn & cars were going past us at 200 fucking miles per hour. Oh yeah, & we aren’t gonna fucking kill Nils. I cited all of these reasons to Ruck as to why his plan was a bad fucking idea. He finally relented but he growled at Nils,
“YOU BETTER SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Nils lived but he used minimal words the rest of the tour, especially around Sean Price. I think he loosened up later in the run but he didn’t get that fucking loose again. Ruck damn near rendered that man a mute.
Only Sean P could make a murder plot funny as fuck. ( Funny in retrospect only, because this shit wasn’t that funny when it was happening. )
I really love & miss that dude.
No “PAWS” needed.
Follow Hex at:
You can also follow Big Ghost on twitter n IG… but I aint sweatin all that shit so figure that out ya own self.
riP!May 3, 2016
Ayo whattup yall…the gawd is back like cooked crack n ready to bestow upon yall the bountiful jewelz n casseroles of wisdom for the soul yall done come to expect from me nahmean. I kno I been fallin back from the review thing for a minute now but when the Okayplayers throw up that bat signal its only right that I accommodate the team. I do it for the culture namsayin…so shit aint even bout the money to me b. I do it for the love. Long as they put up the stacks Im a do it…for the love. But yall already kno what time it is. Hit the link n peep the review n whatever whatever…
Ayo wahattup…its ya boy the immortal illustrious Bandana Guitars aka Shampoo Bracelets aka the mighty Cocaine Biceps aka Phantom Raviolis aka the world famous Hands of Zeus hisself once again live in the flesh n all that. Before yall think Im really tryna write a review n then a political think piece in the same two week period after takin a whole calendar year off from updating this entire blog while I manage the most poppin n informative Instagram page on the cyberwebs n recklessly tweet stupid shit all day n make my move into the world of producing ARTISTICALLY IGNORANT HIP HOP lemme jus save yall the trouble of realizin how wrong you was to assume some asinine shit like that by pullin the plug on whatever machine you use to dream up stupid n delusional thoughts b. That being said… Its a lot of fucked up shit that NEEDS to be addressed n I cant think of anyone better to speak on that shit than renowned author, Nobel Peace Prize laureate, former high school valedictorian, n famed eyepatch enthusiast IronsideHex. This my mans…n he knows what the fuck he talkin bout so if you value ya health n wellbeing n more importantly the health n wellbeing of ya little seeds n what have you…you might wanna pay attention n try to get at least one other muthafucka to pay attention who hopefully gon get two more muthafuckas to pay attention n hopefully this sets off a chain reaction of mass wokeness n the shit becomes its own unstoppable force or whatever. Now anybody that reads my shit has probably noticed that Im a meticulous proponent of grammar n literary etiquette n blah blah blah but my guy Hex dont like his shit to be proofread or copyedited or formatted or fact checked or none of that shit namsayin. So what you gettin is that raw dog no holds barred shit. The shit that make you feel like you hang gliding over Papalaua Falls in Molokai one minute n then make you wanna yoke up ya grandparents the next. This man gon cover a whole cornucopia of emotions nahmean. Aight so Ima pass the blunt n let Hex do his thing now…
Donald Trump is The Devil.
El Diablo, Satan, Lucifer, Beelzebub, The Morningstar, Old Nick, Damien, Reagan, Bush.
The scary part was the last two were actually President. ( I don’t consider George H.W. Bush The Devil because he only had 1 term. I consider him a lesser demon )
Trump looks well on his way to securing the Republican nomination, a fact that makes the GOP establishment want to kill themselves. I fucking love it.
Before I let you get too far into this piece I have to let it be known I am NOT a Donald Trump fan nor am I a fan of the Republican OR Democratic parties. Fuck both of them. Though in the spirit of transparency I will say I don’t vote FOR Democrats, I vote AGAINST Republicans. As a matter of fact I want to be totally honest. I hate Trump. I hate the way he talks, I hate the shit he talks about, I hate his face, I hate the tan lines around his eyes, I hate his actual eyes, I hate the way he smells & I’ve never even been close to the muthafucka. I hate his suits & his ties, & of course I hate his stupid fucking hair. Needless to say, I don’t like this guy. At all.
As much as I hate Trump I’m totally dismayed by his supporters. They taught me to never underestimate the stupidity of people. NEVER. It’s apparent that some people are inherently stupid. Or they actually feel the same way this bigoted xenophobe feels about immigration, economics, planned parenthood & the war on terror.
DONALD TRUMP, THE GREAT WALL BUILDER ( that Mexico is gonna pay for – BULLSHIT ).
I got one word for DonaldTrump. “HOW?”
How are u going to make Mexico pay for the wall? Because of a trade deficit? So? Mexico isn’t gonna pay for shit.
DONALD TRUMP, THE GREAT DEPORTER
Let’s be clear, PRESIDENT OBAMA has deported more illegal aliens / undocumented immigrants
than any other president in history. To date 2.5 million illegals have gotten the boot courtesy of PRESIDENT OBAMA. This is in direct contradiction to TRUMP’S assertion that this administration does nothing about illegal immigration. TRUMP promises to root out the 11 MILLION undocumented immigrants living in Amerikkka & deport them. 11 MILLION PEOPLE. What the fuck is TRUMP TALKING ABOUT? That’s im-fucking-possible. You are going to have our ICE, HOMELAND SECURITY, & INS agents investigate, locate, apprehend, detain, & deport 11MILLION PEOPLE. Yeah, ok. What do u think that will cost per person? $10 dollars? $100 dollars? Even at just $10 a person that’s $110 MILLION DOLLARS. & believe me, it’s gonna cost alot more than $10 dollars per person.
It wld cost between $400 – $600 BILLION DOLLARS to deport these people. Is Mexico gonna pay for that, too? Amerikkkans like to argue that the illegals take all of their jobs. Well, after TRUMP implements his ELIAN PLAN they would be able to sell oranges & cut grass anywhere they want to without illegals preventing them from attaining their life’s goal.
TRUMP THE HEALTHCARE PROVIDER.
Like all Republicans TRUMP has vowed to repeal OBAMACARE. You know Republicans hate when poor people get any type of help. However, unlike most of TRUMP’s fellow Republican presidential candidates TRUMP has no concrete plan to replace OBAMACARE & no idea where to start. He just knows Republicans hate it, so he says that he does too. What an idiot.
DONALD TRUMP THE WARRIOR.
TRUMP is saying that he will destroy ISIS, also saying that he would kill the families of terrorists. ( This muthafucka doesn’t wanna go to THE WHITE HOUSE, he wants to go to THE HAGUE)
That’s all well & good but when he had his chance to fight for Amerikkka in Vietnam in the 60’s he procured a deferment for having a “heel spur”. Get the fuck out of here. When he was asked about it he reportedly couldn’t remember which heel had been “injured”.
How the fuck is he going to defeat ISIS when he circumvented the draft to avoid having to fight in Vietnam?
DONALD TRUMP, THE PROTECTOR OF THE 2ND AMENDMENT.
DONALD TRUMP constantly professeses his love for the second amendment & says stupid shit like we need MORE firearms to prevent or stop mass shootings like the ones in Paris, SanBernardino, & more recently Kansas. I suppose TRUMP is also going to issue an executive order that everyone carry a firearm, send everyone to NAVY SEAL training, & deputize everybody in Amerikkka. His next executive order will be to replace all the fire hydrants in the U.S.A with oil drums filled with gasoline.
DONALD TRUMP, THE ENEMY OF THE FIRST AMENDMENT.
Although TRUMP says that he loves the 2ND AMENDMENT & THE CONSTITUTION more than KANYE loves KANYE, there are other parts of the CONSTITUTION that he’s not too fond of. Like the FIRST AMENDMENT. You know the FIRST AMENDMENT right? Small part of the constitution that ensures us the right to freedom of religion, free speech (press), assembly. He wants to fuck with it so that he can sue the press for printing unflattering articles about him. Unbefuckinglievable.
On one end of the spectrum he’s a promoter of the 2ND AMENDMENT & on the other end he’s looking for chinks in the FIRST AMENDMENT’s armor. TRUMP claims & blames the press aka “THE LIBERAL MEDIA” for lying on him but as far as I can tell they’ve just been telling the truth & asking him to explain dumb-shit that came out his own mouth. TRUMP claims he’s for the people but he wants to silence those who disagree with or criticize him.
DONALD TRUMP THE SELF-MADE BUSINESS MAN.
This is pretty fucking funny. TRUMP tries to push this narrative that he built his company from nothing. He likes to say that he started with a “small loan from his father” ( FRED TRUMP, more on him later ). Yup, TRUMP got a small loan of ONE MILLION DOLLARS.
That’s ONE MILLION DOLLARS in 1968.
That’s equivalent to almost
7 MILLION DOLLARS today.
Get the fuck out of here.
I don’t know alot about TRUMP’S business dealings, but I do know he has filed for bankruptcy at least four different times, closed down the TRUMP PLAZA (which left approximately 1300 people out of work), & he expedited the demise of the USFL.
Ya’ll remember the USFL don’t u? Professional football played in the spring from 1983 – 1986. Had players like HERSCHEL WALKER, DOUG FLUTIE, JIM KELLY, STEVE YOUNG, amongst others. TRUMP owned a team in that league, the NY/NJ GENERALS. He pushed for the USFL to move their season to the fall to battle the NFL. They also sued the NFL in an antitrust suit which they won, however they were awarded damages totaling $3.00.
The league folded soon after before ever competing head to head with the NFL in the fall. The USFL’s implosion is widely attributed to DONALD TRUMP & is the subject of an ESPN 30 for 30 film called, “SMALL POTATOES”.
He’s also being sued for fraud by some former students at his now defunct TRUMP UNIVERSITY, where students paid up to $36,000 to learn TRUMP’s real estate secrets. Evidently some people didn’t learn shit.
DONALD TRUMP THE RACIST.
This is my favorite TRUMP.
Since the beginning of his campaign there has been strong racist undertones in his message. He employs alot of dog-whistle politics. Dog-whistle politics are when a politician makes one general statement for his general audience, but it has a deeper, different or additional meaning for a targeted subgroup. Like when TRUMP says ” MAKE AMERIKKKA GREAT AGAIN”. Some people hear “MAKE AMERIKKKA WHITE AGAIN”. He is basically alienating Mexicans & Muslims, intent on kicking one group out & not letting the other group in. His message is clear, “I’M GOING TO BUILD A WALL” really means “THEY’RE NOT LIKE US, SO WE NEED TO BE SEPARATE”. That shit resonates with certain groups, especially among those whites that feel disenfranchised & by this current progressive administration & frankly they feel left behind by the world. Let’s be clear, TRUMP is saying all the things that his target audience whispers about at the kitchen table. That’s the scary part. TRUMP has hundreds of thousands of people who echo his ideology. MEXICANS – Violent rapists, put up a wall & keep them out. Deport the ones that are here. Out, out damn spot!
MUSLIMS – Don’t let them in! Muslims are bad! Which stokes the fires of hatred & distrust which already exist in this country concerning our Muslim communities. Now TRUMP may have initiated a full blown assault on brown people, but he didn’t forget about black people. Hell naw. He just took a different approach with us, more passive – aggressive. When TRUMP’s not ignoring the black race, TRUMP does shit like praise the police & say how they’re treated horribly & when they make one mistake the “lying liberal media” plasters it all over the news. Although that “one mistake” usually leads to the death of an unarmed black person, but whatever, right?
No biggie. TRUMP’s rallies are often interrupted by different protestors, including BlackLivesMatter. I saw a recent TRUMP rally in Virginia where BLM attended & chanted “BLACK LIVES MATTER!”, to which the crowd responded with their own chant of “ALL LIVES MATTER!” while the protestors were being removed. TRUMP took to the mic & repeated “ALL LIVES MATTER!” I gotta go off-topic for a sec & tell you how I feel about “ALL LIVES MATTER”, which I feel is the most passive – aggressive phrase in the world. It’s right up there with “NO DISRESPECT, BUT…”.
“ALL LIVES MATTER” really means “FUCK BLACK LIVES MATTER” but it’s said in a way where u can’t refute it.
The BLACK LIVES MATTER movement came out of an anger about black people, usually unarmed, being mowed down in the street at the hands of usually white police officers. Somehow “ALL LIVES MATTER” became the response. What are you supposed to say? “FUCK EVERYBODY ELSE’S LIVES EXCEPT BLACKS”? No. The usual reply is ” YES, ALL LIVES MATTER, BUT RIGHT NOW WE’RE TALKING ABOUT BLACK LIVES “.
I look at it a little differently.
“ALL LIVES MATTER” is the equivalent of black people being on a sinking ship & screaming “MAYDAY!”, while white people are safe on dry land screaming, “MAYDAY! MAYDAY, TOO!”
Anyway, that’s my take on it.
Back to ADOLF DRUMF.
Let’s talk about this idiot & his DAVID DUKE / KKK controversy. On Sunday February 27th TRUMP appeared on CNN on JAKE TAPPER’s “STATE OF THE UNION” show. On the show JAKE TAPPER asked TRUMP about recent statements by politician & former KKK GRAND WIZARD DAVID DUKE where DUKE proclaimed that “voting against DONALD TRUMP at this point is treason to your heritage”. TRUMP refused to disavow DUKE or the KKK, claiming that he didn’t know enough about them. What the fuck? U don’t know who DAVID DUKE is or what the KKK is about? Are u fucking serious? Of course TRUMP later backtracked, even posting a video from the previous Friday where he denounced DUKE, albeit very flippantly, “DAVID DUKE? I DISAVOW HIM, OK?” What I’m trying to figure out is why did u know exactly who DAVID DUKE was on Friday, but have no clue who the fuck he is two days later during the CNN interview? Turns out TRUMP was fully aware of who DAVID DUKE is & is familiar with his views, because in 2000
TRUMP decided to forgo a presidential run as a member of the Reform Party but decided against it when he discovered that DAVID DUKE was involved. He claimed that a faulty ear piece didn’t allow him to hear JAKE TAPPER’S questions about DUKE. This lying muthafucka. Don’t insult my fucking intelligence. He actually said the name “DAVID DUKE” two or three times during the interview & repeated TAPPER’s questions.
Faulty ear piece. Whatever. He’s a fucking liar like all politicians. He eventually condemned DAVID DUKE & other white supremacists after intense pressure from the GOP. Well, DONALD TRUMP is VERY familiar with the KKK. His father, FRED TRUMP, the giver of small million dollar loans, was arrested in 1927 at a KKK rally in Queens, NY. This happened. TRUMP says different & again proves himself to be a liar. TRUMP has been dogged by the racist tag his whole campaign, even his spokeswomen KATRINA PIERSON says racist bullshit like “WHERE ARE ALL OF THE PURE BLOODS?” He keeps a few coons on the payroll. OMAROSA, PASTOR DARRELL SCOTT, PASTOR MANNING those two coon broads DIAMOND & SILK, etc. You have to be a special type of coon to support a man white supremacists are endorsing & placing robocalls for. All black people who are supporting TRUMP should ask the KKK to give them a ride to the polls. They’re pals.
TRUMP is a megalomaniac, demagogue, a con man, a narcissist, a carnival barker, a fool. He’s playing / preying upon the fears of people who are supposedly from “THE HOME OF THE BRAVE” Brave? I can’t tell. They seem to be a bunch of bitches to me, running to hide behind TRUMP’s skirt. They’re expecting TRUMP to protect them. A guy who wouldn’t even fight when he was drafted. Now he’s saying he’s gonna fight for Amerikkka, & these idiots believe him. The funniest thing about TRUMP besides his spray tan & hair is the fact that for all of his posturing on immigration, his wife MELANIA TRUMP is an immigrant ( well, technically everyone is an immigrant except the NATIVE AMERIKKKANS ) who’s from Yugoslavia & speaks broken English. & they want to put her in the White House. Ridiculous.
I just keep remembering all the dumb shit he did, like getting mad at FOHX NEWS’ MEGYN KELLY during a debate because she asked him a series of questions quoting his own words including derogatory comments TRUMP made about women & asked if he thought he sounded presidential. I remember him mumbling some bullshit & not really answering the questions. Then months later he wouldn’t do a debate that MEGYN KELLY was moderating. He talks all this tough shit regarding PUTIN, JONG UN, MEXICO, CHINA, & ISIS, but he’s scared of MEGYN KELLY.
This citrus colored muthafucka has the temperament of a fussy 5 year old & he could be in control of the world’s most powerful nuclear arsenal. If he throws a hissy fit everybody dies. It’s like us having our very own KIM JONG UN but crazier.
Usually I write about some rap bullshit, but this election is too important for me to ignore. There’s alot of crazy shit going on in the world & we need somebody sane to navigate us through it. I don’t give a fuck who you vote for, as long as it’s not TRUMP…or CRUZ..or RUBIO…or KASICH…or DR.CARSON…
I ain’t telling anyone how to live, I’m just making some suggestions. If you don’t like abortions don’t have one, if you don’t like the gay lifestyle then don’t fuck the same sex, & if you don’t like Islam then practice Christianity.
I know alot of folks love TRUMP & are going to vote for him no matter what anyone says. People love that he’s supposedly self-financing his whole campaign & he likes to say that he isn’t owned by any big company but likes to brag that his company is worth 10 billion dollars, he IS the big company. Voting for TRUMP is like voting for one of the KOCH brothers.
This whole debacle is beyond stupid. I feel embarrassed that I live in Amerikkka. I feel embarrassed for the people who proudly support TRUMP. It’s like waving an “I’M STUPID” flag over their heads. It’s just so ridiculous I keep waiting for him to walk up to a podium say, “SIKE”. For a few months I thought he was trolling. When I realized he was serious it was horrifying. This is a man who ridiculed JOHN McCAIN for being a POW, but he himself skirted the draft and didn’t even fight in the war. This is a man who will run to Twitter & slander the shit out of his opponents in-between retweeting racist groups & MUSSOLINI quotes.
The scary shit isn’t just TRUMP, its his supporters. Some people actually BELIEVE his bullshit. Stupid people are scary.
TRUMP is the scariest muthafucka I’ve seen in a long time.
Follow @ironsidehex on twitter
February 24, 2016
Ayo whattup… You now baskin in the luminescence of the grand imperial Cocaine Biceps aka the illustrious Thor Molecules aka the infamous Galaxy Knuckles aka Shampoo Bracelets the panty melter aka the mighty Hands of Zeus hisself in the flesh. Lotta yall been wonderin why the gawd aint been droppin those immaculate scrolls n ill paragraphs n whatever whatever…1. The gawd stay gettin it poppin on the Instagrams n 2. The gawd felt as tho his words n the respect for his craft wasnt there like that namsayin. I needs that Bar Mitzvah paper b.
So when my guy Eddie Stats hollered n asked if I wanted to review this shit I told him how I felt straight up n down… AYO YOU MY MANS N ALL BUT I JUS DONT FEEL AS THO THE APPRECIATION FOR MY CRAFT IS THERE B… I AM TO MUSIC REVIEWS WHAT JIM HENSON IS TO PUPPETRY NAMSAYIN. I AM TO THIS SHIT WHAT HELMUT LANG IS TO FASHION. OKAYPLAYER IS MY KESTNERGESELLSCHAFT… N I NEED YOU TO BE MY NORDDEUTSCHE LANDESBANK GIROZENTRALE FAM… I NEED THESE DEUTSCHMARKS…THESE EUROS…THESE PESOS…THE BREAD…THE BAUERNBROT…IMA NEED 20 RACKS CUZ ANYTHING LESS WOULD BE CHARITY WORK ON MY PART NAHMEAN. NOW IS YOU GON ALLOW ME TO CREATE OR YOU JUS GON MARGINALIZE ME UNTIL IM OUTTA MY MOMENT? CUZ CANT NOBODY DO IT LIKE ME. AINT ENOUGH BEANS IN NOBODY MARACAS TO SALSA WIT THE GAWD… Long story short Eddie wasnt wit that shit n I aint get no additional monetary appreciation whatsoever. But its coo… Ima do this shit for the culture regardless yo.
GO HERE for the full review
February 22, 2015
Ayo whattup. Once again you in the presence of the mighty Hands Of Zeus aka Galaxy Knuckles aka Thor Molecules the great aka Phantom Raviolis aka Shampoo Bracelets the panty melter aka Broccoli Bundles aka Lamborghini Saxophones aka the illustrious Cocaine Biceps n the legendary Acrobatic Chromosomes hisself otherwise known as the world famous Big Ghost namsayin. Its been a minute so hopefully yall can forgive the hiatus nahmean. Jus remember that even when I aint doin what you think I should be doin Im still doin shit that needs doin b. But yo…ya boy Drizzy Drake aka the rib that was removed from the body of 808s and Heartbreak n incubated beneath the tender bosom of Mother Canada into the tofu complexioned phenomenon he is today is back wit another batch of his emotionally complex audio baked goods. This was Drake contribution to the culture in a nutshell b: He slid thru the door into a hip hop world that was stuck on bagels n donuts n ya boy Drizzy said yo…Imma put yall up on these scones. Thats right the nigga brought scones to the hood. The boy gave yall audio croissants n even pronounced the shit like kraw-sawnntz on some “I aint like these other niggas” shit. Thats jus the type of cat he was…. Unapologetic…sensitive…sassy… The type of dude to go on ya Facebook page n passive aggressively like all ya posts b. The type of muthafucka that could tell the difference between the shades of terra cotta n vermilion on the nails of a basic chick from across the room n shit… Type of nigga thats not afraid to check a female n say…”Really? That top? Wit those shoes?” Never been a cat like him in the game before n its a good chance we aint gone see another nigga thats cut from that same ‘tumble dry only’ fabric for a long time b. So love him or hate him…son done found a cozy little spot for hisself in the books n he probably aint going nowhere anytime soon.
Before we get this shit started lemme jus speak on some other shit thats been speculated upon over the last week or so in regards to this project namsayin… Imma try n set summa that straight for yall. First off…this shit was pose to be released as a free mixtape on Datpiff as part of the Gangsta Grillz series apparently. So the fact you had to peep this shit sans the enlightening commentary of a nigga who only got one volume to the way he speak which is basically “talkin while usin chainsaw” is a shame cuz its always dope to have the infinitely talented DJ Drama drop his little anecdotes all in between the songs on ya joints. The fact that ya boy Drizzy decided to drop this shit outta the blue for free on soundcloud for like 11 minutes was mighty generous but after that shit vanished they started selling it on iTunes for $12.99. Now…even if the only reason why the shit happened that way was so that Drizzy could use this tape as a opportunity to turn in his final album n fullfill all his contractual obligations to Cash Money
Rapists Records…..they aint had to set the price at $13 if the muthafucka aint a legit album namsayin. I mean its still a collection of loosies n shit that basically wasnt good enough for his upcomin “REAL album” right? I can imagine Baby leanin back in the Louis Vuitton seats of his woodgrain Bugatti handrubbin that idea into fruition like AW YEA PLEHBWOI…AWM FINNA KEEP MAH DICK IN DAT DERE ASS N EAT AWF DIS CARAMEHR SUNDEHH LOOKIN ASS NIGGUH FA A LAAAWNG TAHM…so that might not a been Drizzys call nahmean.
1. Legend – At first it sounds like this bout to be some Drake-by-numbers shit. But thats the less complicated version g… This actually sound like Drake impersonating Kirko Bangz impersonating Drake. Shit is like a muthafuckin conundrum. These niggas all done jacked Drake style n now Drake out chea jackin other niggas styles includin his own… These muthafuckas is all confused as hell now namsayin. Anyways hopefully Drizzy cut a check for Khelani after usin “Get Away” on this shit cuz he dont need to be tryna Birdman homegirl like that.
2. Energy – Listen fam….I dont expect much from rap music in 2015…n I be turnin a blind eye to a lot of fuckery….but havin gunshots on a Drake record is like havin gunshots on a Drake record namsayin. Its like havin a picture of a gladiator holdin the severed head of his adversary on a shampoo bottle. These shits jus dont go together bruh. Drake you was at the club n allowed a nigga who go by names like “Puffy” n “Diddy” to put hands on you without him pullin out any tools on you or none of that. You let that man slap you like his own seed not once…not twice…THREE muthafuckin times fam. We still dont kno if he hit you all 3 times wit the same hand for maximum slap recoil or alternated hands to increase the velocity or some shit like that. Ionno… I aint really a physics professor or nothin dog…n Puff probably aint work all that shit out in his head before he smacked you up neither. All we kno is the nigga was unarmed n you went to the hospital after that man slapped light rays outta ya half moon n shit. But here you go wit this I GOT ENEMEEEEEZ shit… “Enemies” implies you tryna fight back homie. Call that shit what it is my dude… Thats some bully shit. You went n told on the nigga to J. Prince too…n that man felt like it was serious enough that he had to jump on the intro to another one of his artists joints like he been doin for the past 30 years to issue a warning to let anybody tryna put hands on the boy Drake kno that they loved ones can and IS gon get touched if they tryna cause any type of physical harm to the golden boy ya heard? They actin like the nigga Puffy jumped Aubrey witta small army of ninjas… Like Sean Combs had the Crazy 88 run up on Drake while he slurped on soba noodles in the cut n then dipped out the back door without gettin his hands dirty. But forreal…Puffy jus came at him dolo n rocked him witta open palm. THRICE. Fade caught. Easy. Thats shootin the fair one homie. But these muthafuckas actin like Drizzy was hogtied n held captive on some Master P gettin his goons to kidnap Pimp C shit. Jus take that L n keep it percolatin my dude. Anyways… I forget what the fuck I was gon say bout this track but asides from that fraudulent ass gun poppin in the intro the shit is aight. Sounds like a less potent “0 to 100” mixed witta less impressive “Believe Me” tho. Play em shits all back to back n tell me Im buggin.
3. 10 Bands – This boy rappin over the Freakshow theme song? Shit is like the less attractive cousin of the Started From The Bottom beat…which also happen to be one of the Drake joints I fucks wit the most. Straight up. So I aint mad at this shit. Of course he gotta give his audience a little beige nigga vignette here n there like “My ex asked me where Im movin/ I said on to better things” (cue every sensitive emotional nigga who had limited exposure to positive male role models in his life pullin the invisible train whistle twice after hearin that shit). He also usin “oh em gee, oh em gee” as a actual catchphrase on this shit which is jus childish bruh. But I aint mad at this.
4. Know Yourself – Ya boy still actin like his life aint been a open book for the longest…talmbout “I dont like how serious they take them self/ I always been me, I guess I kno myself”… Maaaaaan not to take anything away from his ability to make some catchy little jingles n shit…but if anybody ever had a identity crisis in hip hop Drake gotta be up there in the top 3 eeeeaaaasy namsayin. He actually lucky Iggy exists to help him seem jus a little more authentic namsayin. Son is all over the muthafuckin place wit his personas n accents tho. To defend this nigga n a lot of his corny antics muthafuckas sometimes bring up somebody like the late great 2Pac…n say shit bout how Pac contradicted hisself a lot too n fabricated his whole image n this that n the third…but 1) Pac sounded like Pac whether he was singin on some happy go lucky shit or recklessly disrespectin niggas or had some pitched down/screwed vocals on the track…no matter what the topic was n ALWAYS had his own flow. 2) Pac was a complex individual wit different characteristics n dimensions to him…not different personalities. The boy Drakeveli wants to be the sensitive songbird who understands females better than they understand they own selfs AND the young playboy millionaire who aint got time to waste on these hoes AND the Jewish mob boss who can get you touched if you test his gangster AND the safe nigga/comedian rockin wigs n dressin like different characters while hostin shit on tv AND the official mascot of every winning sports franchise on the planet AND a resident of at least 17 different cities he stay callin his second home. To compare this nigga to Pac is damn near sacrilegious g. Anyways this some Young Rich Homie Maco Genasis shit… How you gon call this shit “Know Yourself” n proceed to sound like all different types of niggas bruh? Its some more rudebwoy lickin shots on this shit too. This boy way too conflicted.
5. No Tellin – This more of that “Started From The Bottom” type shit. Im fuckin wit it…but then suddenly this boy starts wildin talmbout “I mean beside Ricky Ross Aubrey the biggest boss here”… Yo I truthfully wasnt mad at this joint son. Honestly. But after that line I almost had to quarantine this track n escort it to the recycle bin off principle alone. Like…I cant jus allow son to utter words like these thru the speakers or headphones of any my own personal electronic devices b. That shit is damn near immoral. You need to slide back into ya lane homie…which is makin joints for niggas who run the pickle jar lid under hot water to open it. You make music for chicks that go home n cry n eat a whole frozen cake in the closet when nobody compliments they outfit. Stay makin music for dudes who use the crying cat emoji fam… Lets jus ease the fuck back from the foolish “Aubrey the boss” fantasies tho. Thats some preposterous shit… Shit is as disrespectful as Snoop sayin he was possessed by the ghost of Bob Marley when he went thru his Snoop Lion phase. What other outta pocket fuckery we tryna give a pass to when it come to these rappers b? “French Montana, Esq.”? “The world famous Ray J”? I mean cmon yo…
6. Madonna – This nigga Drake doin some type a Lil Wayne talkin in his sleep impersonation all over the intro. Not sure if he doin that as a tribute or like a homage or some shit but I coulda did without it b. Then after a full minute of that shit homie dusts off the ol simp cape n sing/raps “What if I pick you up from your house?/ We should get out/ We havent talked in a while…”…n then throws the shit into full “Take Care” mode wit “I saw potential in you from the go/ You kno that I did/ I dont kno if you kno but I kno who you are”… Man dont you think we been down this beige ass path enough times dog? This like the most insulting n vain shit you can say to a female in the first place yo. That shit is like listenin to a song n singin on top of it n callin it a duet. All that “I kno you better than you kno you” type shit only works in novels that got the words “Twilight” or “By Nicholas Sparks” on the cover namsayin. Only niggas who can order a beverage at Starbucks without decoding the shit on the menu first would say some shit like that to a girl b. This whole jawn is some shit for niggas that turn they head n make a face like they jus swallowed cat urine when they sip a beer. This basically some shit only a dude whose favorite season of The Wire was season 2 can relate to…. And now the sleepy Weezy shit back for the hook. Son even brought back the gentle falsetto “oh no no no” for this. Bout to slingshot this hoe into that recycle bin REEEAAL QUICK.
7. 6 God – Here this boy go sendin subliminal warnings to his subliminal enemies again… “Rollin swishers hittin swishes…Got me feelin like a ball haaaaaawwwg… I dont pass em when I get it”
Ima keep it real truthful… Homie is wild annoying on this shit. I mean niggas brag on records. That shit is the essence of rap. That shit been happening since Grandmaster Caz n Melle Mel… Back in the day most cats not named Ice-T or LL Cool J jus straight up bragged bout shit they never had or owned or did. Then Biggie came along n started paintin entire fantasies on records of a lifestyle he wasnt livin at the time on the classic “Juicy” n that kinda kicked down the door for brothers like Nas, AZ, Raekwon n em to start embellishin the fuck outta they life stories on records too…n thats basically how the mafioso shit n the luxury rap era popped off. A year later Hov dropped Reasonable Doubt n made it so cats had to at least sorta validate the shit they was sayin on records…cuz Jay really wasnt exaggeratin his lifestyle like that…at least not until he lost em 92 bricks hadda fall back. Fast forward to Hov, Puffy, n Dre havin net worths that look like the worldwide box office earnings from Harry Potter flicks n the game is actually saturated wit multimillionaires now… Thats includin Rick Ross n the $375 billion Kuwaiti dinar that he got stashed in his accounts in the Caymans. But somewhere along the way the flossin on records went from rappers tryna stunt on they peers to straight up being on some HAAAAHAAAA LOOKIT ME LOOKIT ME BOY IM SO FAMOUS N RICH BUT YALL CAN HAVE MY LEFTOVER’S LEFTOVER’S LEFTOVERS WHEN IM DONE BOY N IMMA SAY THIS SHIT IN THE HIGHEST OCTAVE MY VOICE CAN SPEAK IN BOY JUS TO MAKE THE SHIT EVEN MORE AGGRAVATIN TO YALL BROKE NIGGAS BOY…IMA RAP ALL THIS SHIT IN THIS ANDY MILONAKIS PITCH N REPEAT WORDS N NOT EVEN RHYME THIS SHIT N MY DICKRIDERS IS GON LOVE IIIIIIIIIIIIIIT AAAAHHHHHH. Muthafucka I dont listen to music to be gettin shitted on namsayin. Money n fame aint gon move ya eyes closer together n stop you from gettin ya ass beat in public homie. Need to calm ya whole shit down doggie.
8. Star67 – Yea he went there… Ya boy Drizzy Drake done named a song after the same phone feature that side chicks use when they wanna block they number n call up the wife/bm of the disloyal nigga they fuckin wit to vent n talk they shit bout all the fly things they done procured from his trick ass to feel better bout they self. I kno you probably shocked like DRAKE DID THAT? But then you gotta remind yaself that son is a light khaki complexioned nigga from Canada witta girl name so he kinda predisposed to doin some shit like this. Aint gon lie tho cuz this beat fire… But there go Aubrey wit the gun talk again. “Brand new beretta, cant wait to let it go/ Walk up in my label like, where the check go?”… Cmon b. Most you might do is leave a muthafuckin disgruntled email or text message for Baby n Slim. Drake tryna have you imagine him comin up the elevator at the Cash Money Rapist– OOPS I MEANT RECORDS — offices n see niggas runnin n duckin like he Omar Little n shit on some “Yo Aubrey comin…Aubrey comin”shit… (Yea I kno thats the second Wire reference on this shit… Can I live tho?). Why this nigga Drizzy aint go up in Birdman office n do like Suge Knight did to Eazy to get Dre outta his contract if he really bout that life? This nigga pose to be boolin… Doin all types of twisted shit wit his fingers… Why he aint get Birdman to drop Carter 5? Ayo Drake theres real gangsta shit goin on in the industry man! Yo niggas is in the grind! Where you be at man? Niggas be buckin! Why you never buckin? Where you be at man??? But yea bruh the beat is dope on this shit n Aubrey did his best rendition of Lil Wayne circa 2005 on this muthafucka too. I fucks wit it…
9. Preach (feat. PartyNextDoor) – What you get when you take some Future n Drake n bake it up in a cake? In case you wasnt able to actually solve that mindbender the answer is PartyNextDoor. Singin ass Toronto niggas really be havin names that sound like events n shit? PARTYNEXTDOOR?The Weeknd? This boy Drizzy even managed to find a singin ass nigga from ATL named ILOVEMAKONNEN. Only a matter of time before a dude named TheOpeningAct or iBeSinginSongs gon pop up on OVO Sound. Anyways this track is ass cheeks?so its prolly bout to be gettin crazy spins in the club.
10. Wednesday Night Interlude (feat. PartyNextDoor)- There go Drake gettin all creative wit his song titles again… Me personally I woulda named this shit “All The Ungivable Fucks I Never Knew I Could Give Bout This Shit” cuz its one accurate way of describin how I feel bout it. That nigga PartyInTheNextRoom or whatever is on this shit gettin his autotune on again singin bout being lonely for a whole 3 n a half minutes. Not sure what makes this shit a interlude exactly since its longer than like 5 of the songs on this whole project n shit… I dont wanna spoil the surprise for anybody who aint heard it yet but its basically a little tiny tornado of sonic dicks for ya ears.. If you into shit like that then you gon most definitely fucks wit it. Imma toss this track n the shit I heard right before it into the recycle bin n let em marinate amongst all em Sorry 4 The Wait 2 jawns tho.
11. Used To (feat. Lil Wayne)- “When you get to where Im at/ You gotta remind em where the fuck you at”… This nigga got members of Rae Sremmurd penning his bars now? Wish that was the actual wackest part of his verse but son actually compares hisself to “Young Nick Cannon wit the snare drum dancin” on the same verse n then starts the next verse wit “Way more gully gully than buddy buddy”… So take ya pick. Meanwhile ya boy the lyrical juggernaut Weezy F said to “suck a nigga dick for a iPhone 6″…smmfh. Its kinda obvious why this nigga dont get too many endorsement deals… Shit be like that for a reason nahmean. Ya boy Dwayne really brought that shit back like his “suck a nigga dick for some Trukfit” line on “Pop That” never hurt them Trukfit sales yo… He lucky he got Mack Maine cuz truthfully this man dont got a single business savvy bone in his body fam. Pretty sure if Russell Simmons campaign for his clothing brand was “Suck a nigga dick for some Phat Farm” that shit probably never woulda sold the way it did back in the day. Meanwhile the boy Drizzys money bout to be longer than Waynes any minute since he actually very good at branding his shit. When you see the cute little cartoon owl? You kno whats up… Anyways minus some trash bars this shit is straight.
12. 6 Man – This was close to being the best joint on this whole non-free mixtape b. But the funny thing is Aubrey jacked Gucci Mane flow for this shit. Meanwhile this nigga Gucci in the tombs again n jus dropped another mixtape n titled that shit Views From Zone 6. Hmmmmm…. Coincidence? Anyways yo Drake gotta cut Radric a check n help him cop more fake colorful jewelry when he get out the bing again namsayin. I dont condone all this flow borrowing shit that these cats be doin these days neither (Im lookin at you Logic). When 50% of niggas rap like Future or the Amigos you kno the shit gettin way outta control namsayin. Anyways all the bitery n unoriginalness aside the shit is actually dope up until this nigga Drake start doin the Erykah Badu shit at the end. Other than that I aint mad at this shit.
13. Now & Forever – This is Drake being on some Drake shit. Lemme explain that. When you hear this shit it sound like he on some tryna leave his abusive relationship behind type shit…witta chick. But naw this bout him tryna leave his abusive relationship wit Stunna since Stunna dont pay artists n been rapin Wayne for like 20 yrs now. So in the midst of all this sensitive crooning you hear a shotgun pump n let off a round…”Yo Aubrey comin…Aubrey comin…”
Fam lets jus be real bout this shit for a moment. Drake gotta dead all the subliminal gun totin. The public is stupid but the public aint full blown delusional. This nigga Drizzy been feelin tough ever since he realized he could jus hide behind fat niggas n the fathers of his homeboys. But these little gunshot effects would probably sound less corny on a Coldplay record b.
14. Company (feat. Travi$ Scott) – Usually I see the words “feat. Travi$ Scott” n I jus keep it movin…cuz fuck that shit. But I wasnt all the way mad at this track. Shit was cool until ya boy let his simp hand go n drizzled out the words “lately we been fightin on some WHY YOU LOVE THE STRIPPIN SHIT?”. Cmon son…after all these jokes n memes you really gon start tryna rescue strippers in distress on a song again? You couldnt go a whole project without capin for a stripper? Meanwhile… while Im ponderin on this shit that dusty nigga Travi$ Scott done went into full blown autotune cryin robot malfunction mode n reminded me why I be skippin right on past most shit that says “feat. Travis $cott” in the first place.
15. You and The 6 – Fam I aint tryna be the insensitive asshole here or nothin but how many open letters to ya moms you plannin on droppin? Can you not jus have a nice convo wit the woman during one of ya weekly brunches wit her n get all the shit off ya chest once n for all? This shit is obviously like ya way of balancing out the fact that you come across like a cocky diva in a lo of ya music b. This gotta be ya way of tryna get people to forget that shit. I aint sayin you not sincere bout this shit but at the same time you done covered all this shit enough times bruh… The hardships of growin up in the most affluent suburb of Toronto n how you got made fun of for pushin last year’s model Bentley as a teen actor n how ya moms was pose to get you a tuna sandwich but you had to settle for chicken salad… We done been over all this shit bruh. Jus once the boy Drake gotta surprise us wit some shit… Like maybe get on some Eminem shit n kill a family member on record b. Throw a twist ending on this shit. Like maybe break out the arsenal of audio weapons you packin on the album n rob a synagogue during one of ya little cousin’s bar mitzvahs or some unpredictable shit like that b. This also one of the few tracks on this album where homie rappin on some regular Drake shit. Anyways I aint actually mad at this shit…I jus wanted to get all that other shit off my chest tho.
16. Jungle – This more of that regular Drake shit. Ya boy Aubrey waited til the second to last track to hit his females fans off wit that bitchmade shit that made him a household name in the first place. The beat is on some slow ass basic R&B shit. Word to Allah. This shit is like listening to somebody make they Barbie dolls fuck.. so Imma hit that skip n Victor Oladipo reverse 360 dunk this shit into the recycle bin.
17. 6PM In New York – Ya boy 6 god back wit another time n place record… I wasnt never a fan of that “9AM In Dallas” shit but “5AM In Toronto” might be the coldest record young Aubrey ever made nahmean. This shit right here aint fuckin wit it at all tho. But the medium homie addressed the little little homie Tyga almost kinda directly on this shit wit the “Its so childish callin me out on the world stage/ You need to act ya age n not ya girl age” line. Finally happened b. All the male Drake groupies heard that shit n was like YAAAASSSSSS DRAG HIM PAPI!!! Shit even got a reaction from Tyga on twitter. But if you read it it was already too late cuz bruh bruh got cold feet n deleted it bout 45 seconds later so… Then Drizzy sends a couple subliminals Mia Khalifa’s way to let muthafuckas kno that YES…porn stars can get hit wit these lyrical bullets n hurtful remarks too. Matter fact next time you hear Aubrey whistlin “The Farmer in the Dell” n see him comin up the street jus assume some hurtful n insensitive remarks is bout to get let off. The choppers gon be singin all types of hurtful n insensitive remarks n like you done already heard…ANYBODY can get it. Dont think you cant get got. Meanwhile this nigga Drake sayin he should be the third nigga on the throne (wit Jigga n Kanye). First off I still dont understand how them niggas was sharin a throne in the first place. But now the boy Aubrey tryna make it three niggas on one throne n shit… He also conveniently left his ace boon coon Weezy outta that shit n tryna minimize the stranglehold that Kendrick got on the game right now. But since Aubrey out chea lettin that chopper go we should go down the list of cats who directly called him out that he never clapped back at (Pusha-T, DMX, Beanie Sigel) in the past…or talk bout the ones who he felt confident enough to squabble wit…like the harmless 19 yr old tennis playin nigga he said he wanted to stand in front of n see what kinda man he was n size up before he would “chop him right down”. So THAT nigga was worth replyin to cuz son said warmimg up to Drake music gave him a slow start to a big match at Wimbledon. But when Beans said he was gon (AND I QUOTE) “smack the shit out Drake bitch ass” wasnt none of that tough talk from you cuzzo. Pusha-T cooked you n Tunechi on Exodus 23:1 n you was quiet as a church mouse fam. That “outspoken” ass nigga DMX said he aint like nothin bout you…not ya voice, ya face, the way you walk… I mean damn son. That man hated on your face n how you walk. That was jus DIS-RES-PECT-FUL. Awmjussayin tho… But yo do ya thing n clap back at these teenage tennis prodigies n porn stars n the little little homie bruh. If Puffy ever put hands on you again maybe hit him witta couple witty couplets too.
Aight so this my final thoughts on this shit…
Yall might already picked up on this shit…but I dont really like Drake that much as a human being namsayin. I think he good to his peoples n gotta ear for music that muthafuckas appreciate tho… But he also responsible for 80% of the bitchification in hip hop right now. After Drake threw a moist towelette on the game wasnt gone be no more hardcore niggas flourishing in rap. Y’all can thank Kanye for introducin the wave that Drizzy rode for the next 5 years tho. But this project is almost like a compromise. I feel like Drake tryna move away from all that silky smooth shit a bit nahmean. Son kept this shit ballad-free for the first half even. You jus gotta call it how you see it… As a mixtape of free joints this would be a dope little gift to sons fans on some “thanks for holdin a nigga down over the years” type shit. If you wanna call it a non-free mixtape or a comp of loosies its whatever too. But if/when this shit starts getting Grammy nods n collectin plaques you still gone call the shit a mixtape? Fuckouttahere… That shit is a copout. At the end of the day tho the muthafucka works. These joints all mash together good…theres a vibe n whatever whatever… Even the bullshit throwaway records fit in. Son even sorta stopped callin females “bitches”… which to me was always one of those things that made his whole personality on records seem too fraudulent. Like he was jus wild emotionally scattered before…BUT THATS JUS MY OPINION B. So yea…I mean I aint really mad at this. The shit is wild sparse…but I feel like niggas aint overthink this one. Its also the least soft n corny project Drizzy ever dropped. Which is probably why a lot of his stans gone hate it deep down inside while they dickridin it. It aint no big budget blockbuster epic event or nothin. But Aubrey kept the it loose n had fun on this shit while he looked out for his fellow Toronto..nians n let em shine. I cant be mad at that. Is there anything on this shit thats fuckin wit the bar he set on “Trophies” or anything as catchy as that “Tuesday” shit he featured on? Naw… Other than “Star67” aint nothin really on the “0 to 100/The Catch Up” level of quality neither. But I think shit is a step in the right direction for homie. I gotta keep it unbiased yo…
I gives this shit 3.5 Zeus Slaps outta 5
Heres a little bonus joint from my Instagram…
Y’all feel free to follow that shit (@bigghostltd) if you think the gawd dont post enough on here. I be droppin scrolls in them captions at least once a week.
This the rarest species of fuckboy known to man right here fam. Sons fatherlessness levels is completely off the charts yo. If Joffrey Baratheon from Game of Thrones was raped n impregnated by a feral cat n then aborted the embryo into a glass of soy milk n somehow that shit continued to gestate n grow n was discovered by some woodland fairies n raised in seclusion from all positive male influences in a enchanted forest until one day it wandered off n got lost n was captured by a band of merry men n held captive at they camp n listened to nothin but Barbara Streisand n Julio Iglesias records while marinatin in the sap of cherry blossom trees for 10 yrs this would be the offspring of that muthafucka. If you was forced to stab this nigga he would bleed no more tears baby shampoo all over your kicks fam. I guarantee you if you looked at sons skin under a microscope you would see actual bubbles n some atomic winged lambs glidin around all over his shit. This is why I can’t respect the #DrakeHive yo. Man you gotta take accountability for the type of fans you got… This shit is your own influences b. This is life imitating art… Like I fucks wit some Drizzy Drake shit but you need to question any man that is capable of this type of influence g. Society gotta control this pandemic before it’s too late. The male species is being systematically annihilated by some unseen forces that want us to stop reproducing namsayin. What better way to do that then to create a population of testosterone devoid emotional eunuchs b? How else you gon explain Wiz, Kid Ink, Kirko Bangz n that bag of flaming dicks Tyga? Anyways since nobody else is sayin it Ima say it… Aight peace.July 18, 2014
Ayo whattup… Its ya boy Big Ghost aka the new Russell Simmons aka Acrobatic Chromosomes aka the legendary Phantom Raviolis aka Thor Molecules aka Shampoo Bracelets the panty melter aka Galaxy Knuckles the great aka the mighty Hands of Zeus n all that good shit. Welcome back to the realms of flyness known as the Cappuccino Lounge. Allow yaself to caress the luxurious fur sofas n velvet walls of these paragraphs n enjoy the parables nahmean. Some yall been waitin on this shit for a minute n I apologize for all that. Word yo…its that time of year where we give credit where its due n honor the softest muthafuckas in this here game. Aint no clear definition for what makes a nigga soft b…but the best one I can give yall is its usually got to do wit some corny muthafuckas steppin way the fuck out they lane doin this that n the third to try to prove they NOT some hoe ass dandelion blowers n achievin the opposite effect in the process namsayin. Its some lambs in wolves clothing type shit. So we not here to talk bout will.i.am corny ass or Bruno Mars or Flo Rida… Them cats do what they do n stay in they lanes. That shit dont necessarily affect nobody really. Some yall be cryin foul cuz Macklemore won the Grammy that Kendrick shoulda won n he did it by makin songs bout homosexual lovin n shoppin at thrift stores n whatever (AND BY NOT BEIN BLACK)…yet nobody really tryna light his ass up or throw him on a list like this. Fam…in this hip hop shit…what duke was sayin was like jumpin in front of some bullets usin a tablespoon as a shield. Homie said YO WE SHOULD LET GAY FOLK GET MARRIED N YO BTW I COPPED THIS FUR AT GOOD WILL…NOW IMMA DO A SONG BOUT WHITE WALLS ON MY WHIP. Call that shit calculated or foul or whatever….call the Grammy voters some clowns for favoring white artists…but dont tell me dude soft. Not gon say I agree wit his beliefs or not cuz thats a whole different convo but you gotta be brave as fuck to be on that shit yo. NIGGA YOU WANT MEN TO MARRY MEN AAAAAAAAND YOU ROCKIN SECOND HAND GEAR???!! YO YOU BRAVE AS FUCK FOR A RAPPER B. That nigga Flo Rida be makin some the most wack ass songs on the planet but 1) dude look like he be dead liftin volkswagens n 2) he dont go from makin his hoe ass dance songs to bein on some YO IMMA BUST NIGGAS IN THEY HEADS IF THEY COME AT ME WRONG type shit. He jus stay on some Barney the purple dinosaur shit n be makin songs for drunk people wit bad taste in music n low standards in life nahmean. So thats some outlines for yall so you dont gotta get confused n wonder why Justin Timberlake suit n tie ass not on this bitch but such n such nigga is. Thats actually a perfect example of what Im sayin tho bruh… The grown man JT who stays makin his little grown man records n dabbles in that blue eyed soul shit jus doin his thing n gettin his paper bruh. That lame ass cornrow rockin fuckboy from the early 2000s who use to go outta his way to niggafy his whole corny boy band image never ever got a pass…yanno? If he was still that dude he woulda been top 5 on this shit. Anyways yall get the point n if you dont who the fuck cares… Its my list. If yall dont agree you can keep it movin. Go scroll thru 100 slides on a Complex list or some shit. So without further ado lets go down the list of this years honorees n whatever…
10. Mike Will Made It – Not gon lie b…I fucks wit some Mike Will Made It produced shit here n there…but you wanna talk one-dimensional corny ass lame dudes that stay hypin up some wack ass culture vultures n opened the floodgates for the Katy Perrys n the Biebers to get on some coon shit its some muthafuckas like Mike Will Made It who do that shit yo. But what more you gon expect from somebody who actually be enjoyin puttin whatever his equivalent of a dick is anywhere near Miley’s lobster claw lookin ass. Standards on a negative HUNDRED…THOUSAND… TRILLION my nigga. If all it took to have this house nigga ever so whipped was a 86 lb snowthot who looks like Justin Bieber’s long lost twin brother how you gon expect this trick to stand tall when the revolution come? Get this shuckin n jivin ass deformed Bun B lookin muthafucka outtahere bruh.
9. Lupe Fiasco – Nothin against the homie Wasalu but he need to get his mind right yo. Son is on some wild insecure shit…actin like he done read every book ever written n be like a 87th degree black belt in over 14 different martial arts forms… Like he wasnt at the local YMCA takin Kung Fu classes like some regular niggas be doin. Nigga you wasnt sparrin wit stunt doubles from old Run Run Shaw movies durin ya childhood n pullin rickshaws in Shanghai n gettin paid in wontons…sleepin on hot dim sum baskets n steel chopsticks to learn how to ignore pain n whatever. You wasnt wrestlin komodo dragons n catchin scorpions wit ya teeth…or some shit that goes beyond what regular niggas learn at they little Karate dojos. Like FOR EXAMPLE I personally been conditioned to ignore the signals from my brain that that tell my body that a sword done pierced thru my flesh n shit like that nahmean. You aint on that level bruh bruh. If you was then how come when it come to shit that really matters…like not comin across like a fuckboy on social media sites you jus cannot do that shit yo? M’man Lu be doin sucker shit all damn day b… Homie be like the kid at the playground that breathes thru his mouth n always be outta breath n brings all his toys out to make friends n then get mad n take all his toys home n cry a bucket of tears into his pillow n then draw pictures of all the muthafuckas he gon slay wit his lightsaber someday. Dont get me wong yo…son can rap but he be actin like a bird…lockin his twitter n shit like that. The nigga also be dressin like a combination of Ellen n Morpheus yo. Anytime he out in public he be lookin like he jus got outta a long term relationship wit Erykah Badu. Except he aint did that. Stop all foolishness son.
8. Hopsin – This corny nigga gets a lifetime pass for INFINITE fuckouttaheres bruh.
7. Roscoe Dash – This nigga so weak n delicate that a slight breeze from somebody walkin by him could knock him over yo…. Nigga lighter than a Japanese paper lantern or some shit. You could probably poke a hole thru him witta rolled up newspaper b. Ionno what it is but anytime I see this nigga face I jus be feelin violent namsayin. I wanna smack him so hard that Sierra Mist gon shoot out his ass n spiral the nigga body n make him cartwheel for like 5 or 6 city blocks…lookin like those colorful water sprinklers little white kids be jumpin thru on they lawns in commercials n shit. I still aint never allowed my ears to be tortured by any more Roscoe songs or verses ever again after the All The Way Turnt Up shit but jus knowin this nigga still allowed to make music is enough reason for me to be feelin some type of way n say enough is enough yo…
6. Kid Ink – Only thing worse than actually being a degenerate like Chris Brown or Tyga is being a hybrid of some degenerates like Chris Brown n Tyga. Ionno who started this trend of skinny ass cats gettin as many tattoos as they possibly can n coverin every single inch of they fuckboy bodies wit ink before they 18th birthdays but that shit done run its course b. Second of all if you gon be that frontin ass sucker that gets they whole torso inked up wit all types of shit that dont mean one muthafuckin thing to you jus so you can feel like you really some type of belligerent muthafucka after that….have the decency to not call yaself “Kid Ink” doggie. Like you jus gon ride that gimmick n act like you really the ONLY tatted up little nigga weighin 78 lbs runnin round out chea… OH THE SKINNY LITTLE MARMOT LOOKIN ASS NIGGA WIT THE TATS? OH THATS THAT NIGGA KID INK. HE THE ONLY NIGGA RUNNIN ROUND LOOKIN LIKE SOMEBODY HAD MADE A HUMAN BEING OUTTA SOME CHICKEN BONES N CHRIS BROWN’S HEAD. How the fuck yall take this slightly less trash Tyga replica seriously yo? Son…you a knockoff version of one the wackest if not THEE wackest muthafucka that ever inhaled oxygen on this planet. How that sound? To make shit even more corny you also look like a underdeveloped version of the poster child for domestic abuse/human highlight reel for grown man tantrums n Drake’s former arch nemesis hisself. Sons monkey ass looks like how Breezy would look if he was left out in the rain overnight n somebody used a blow dryer to dry him off n the nigga shrunk by 20% or some shit. Never mind the fact that every single this 4:5 scale Breezy replica puts out sounds like he aimin directly for the heart of some 14 yr old future stripper. Fuckouttahere wit all that beige nigga shit b.April 19, 2014
Ayo whattup world! Once again its the mighty Hands Of Zeus aka Galaxy Knuckles aka Thor Molecules the great akaPhantom Raviolis aka the magnificent Caviar Tusks aka Shampoo Bracelets the panty melter aka Spartacus Deluxe aka Broccoli Bundles aka Lamborghini Saxophones aka the illustrious Cocaine Biceps otherwise known as the world famous Big Ghost. Yanno this culture dont always embrace the past like it should. Little niggas be shittin on the old heads like YO WHY YALL OLD NIGGAS STILL THINK YALL SHIT MATTER YALL OLD DUSTY FRAIL ASS CRUMBLY NIGGAS… FUCKOUTTAHERE…n old heads is like YALL BITCHMADE LITTLE FRUITY LIGHT IN THE ASS TIGHT COLORFUL PANTS N CHIFFON T-SHIRT WEARIN GIRLY MOUTHED JUSTIN BIEBER FACED SOYMILK DRINKIN CARAMEL LATTE COMPLEXIONED SMALL DICK N SOFT HANDS HAVIN ASS NIGGAS SHUT ALL THE WAY THE FUCK UP WIT YALL LITTLE CORNY CARTOON JINGLES N NICKLEODEON ASS SOUNDIN SHIT YALL BE LISTENIN TO KNOWIN DAMN WELL YALL AINT BEEN MADE MORE THAN ONE OR TWO CLASSICS YALL DAMN SELVES N YALL HAD LIKE 10 YEARS TO SHOW N PROVE BUT YALL STRING BIKINI N LEG WARMER ROCKIN ASS MUTHAFUCKAS NOT CAPABLE OF THAT SHIT YET YALL WANNA FLAP YA LITTLE GUMS BOUT OLD HEADS THIS N OLD HEADS THAT MAN FUCK YALL… You can kinda see the divide tho…the generation gaps n shit. Word. Imma stay neutral on that shit tho cuz the gawd dont sweat all that. So it bein the 20 year anniversary of one of the most cherished n loved (but also one of the most “overrated”) albums by any muthafucka in rap ever…Imma take some precious time outta my life to reflect on that shit wit yall.
First off Imma give yall little niggas some back history to this shit so yall can do the knowledge n appreciate all the shit that went into these 10 tracks namsayin. My mans Nas… who use to go by the name Nasty Nas (before he was Esco or Nastradamus or God’s Son or any of that)… already had been around on the scene since back in ’91 when he stole the whole show on the “Live At The Barbeque” joint off the classic Main Source album Breaking Atoms. Son snapped on that shit. The track also featured Akinyele n Joe Fatal but nobody really mentions em niggas no more. Personally I think Akinyele was dope n I was a big fan of his shit that came after that…n of course my mans Extra P came correct on the track too… But it was definitely a clear winner on that shit…n it wasnt Joe Fatal bruh. Young Nasir was on some ol reckless not givin a fuck bout anything type shit…even before Big L or Biggie or Eminem or whoever else you can think of. This was the essence of Nasty Nas. Son was jus wild offensive yo…talmbout snuffin the Messiah n murderin cops n hangin niggas like the KKK n kidnappin the president’s wife n ridiculous shit of that nature…n that was jus one verse. You be listenin to the nigga rap n thinkin “damn…this cat really buggin”…n this was at a time when niggas was whylin out on records n really really exercisin they freedom of speech. This was when Ice Cube was at his peak n scarin the shit outta White America n all that. This was when NWA made a whole song bout killin hookers n Bushwick Bill was rapin dead bodies on Geto Boys albums n shit. But Nas brought a whole different level of lyricism wit him. So for Nas to be able to stand out by sayin the most offensive shit under the sun while still lettin his skills on the m-i-c flourish on some crazy poetical shit…he was bringin a whole new dynamic to the table….n son was still 17.
Even before the “BBQ” joint Large Pro aka Extra P was already a big piece of the puzzle namsayin. He was the one who use to let Nas come to the studio durin the sessions for two other classic NY albums…Wanted Dead Or Alive by Kool G Rap & DJ Polo n Let The Rhythm Hit Em by Eric B & Rakim…which Large Professor n his mentor the late great Paul C had a big hand in helpin to create. Unfortunately Paul C was murdered in ’89… but thats how Large Pro came to play a bigger role on em shits. Eric B was executive producer for both em albums too yo. Unfortunately Eric also took a lot of the credit for the production…but thats a whole nother story namsayin. But in between the times they was workin on those particular albums…Large would let Nas get in the booth n work on tracks that would eventually end up on his demo tape n shit. Even Rakim was hearin these shits n givin em his seal of approval … But he probably also noticed that son could be a problem namsayin. Ra mighta felt like OH YOU THINK YOU FLY LIL NIGGA…or some shit. But only Ra would kno for sure. Im jussayin I sensed the animosity myself a couple times in interviews n whatnot…but thats neither here nor there nahmean.
In ’92 Nas had made his second appearance on wax on another posse cut for the debut solo album by MC Serch (of 3rd Bass fame) on a little joint called “Back To The Grill”…which also featured Chubb Rock n Red Hot Lover Tone (of Trackmasters fame). Jus fyi…the song title was a reference to the 3rd Bass “Kick Em In The Grill” joint (which had also featured Chubb Rock) n not the Live At The Barbeque track (Do the knowledge). Right after that Serch had took Nas under his wing n got son a deal wit Columbia Records n thats basically how the ball had got started rollin on the Illmatic LP. Within a couple months Nas had dropped his debut single “Halftime” (produced by Large Professor) which provided the little homie witta chance to shine for dolo on a whole track instead of jus on some verses on a posse cut here n there n really let niggas kno that shit was bout to get mad ugly for em. That was jus a warning shot tho.
Originally Nas had wanted Large Professor to produce his whole album…but it mighta been Serch (who co-executive produced Illmatic along wit Faith Newman — thats right gawd…a couple pale faced White devils brought that shit to the masses) who reached out to DJ Premier…n then Large Pro reached out to Pete Rock…n so on n so forth. Q-Tip (who had produced damn near all the A Tribe Called Quest joints up to that point) got into the mix…n eventually it was like a who’s who of NY producers workin on the album. This was also some unusual shit…not a lot of albums up to that point had different high profile producers workin on different tracks. Mighta been a few albums where it was a collaboration of different producers comin together but wasnt really a whole lot of albums where it was like different A-list producers sharin the spotlight like that. Apart from doin the whole Main Source album…Large Pro had produced the entire Akinyele debut album Vagina Diner from top to bottom too. Meanwhile Preemo was the only producer for ALL the Gangstarr albums n “the chocolate boy wonder” did the same for hisself n CL Smooth. All em dudes was hot in ’94 tho…doin remixes n workin on outside projects while workin on they shit tho. This was startin to become a trend durin what was pretty much the peak of the 90s golden era. Shit was glorious.
Even while Nas n em was still only in the process of workin on the album…the buzz on that muthafucka amongst niggas who knew what was bout to happen was so humungous that The Source had ran a little article titled “The Second Coming”. The first coming had been The 18th Letter hisself…aka Rakim. So for Nas to be gettin that kinda hype off 2 features on some other niggas songs n one single was crazy. Around that time he also dropped the first single from the album…”It Aint Hard To Tell”…which was once again produced by the great Large Professor hisself.
All this shit was happenin at the height of west coast dominance. Ice Cube was jus comin off of a 3 year streak of bein THAT NIGGA in hip hop…Dr Dre had jus went triple platinum after goin solo on The Chronic at the end of ’92 n now his protege Snoop Doggy Dogg (aka Snoop Dogg aka Snoop Lion aka Snoopzilla aka jus Snoop Dogg again) had jus gone QUADRUPLE platinum off his debut joint Doggystyle. Incidentally tho…the same Source magazine that was keepin a real close watch on what Nas was doin had fronted (when they still mattered) n gave The Chronic 4-1/2 mics… n (even more fucked up than that) gave Doggystyle 4 mics. They tried to bury this shit in the history books n changed both those ratings to 5 Mics later but facts is facts n the truth is the truth b. Meanwhile 2Pac had dropped Strictly 4 My N.I.G.G.A.Z at the top of ’93 n was doin movies n whatever…so it was lookin like the planets in orbit n shit was aligned to make him a star real soon. Biggie Smalls was somewhere in BK at that time gettin harassed by Puffy to go to the studio n jump on remixes for Mary J Blige n Supercat. Around that same time Biggie was also goin back n forth between sellin crack in North Carolina n recordin Ready To Die. While the west was dominatin shit…groups like Onyx, Black Moon n the Wu had already started shiftin some focus back to the East. It was different degrees of success amongst em groups…but New York still needed a dominant solo rapper again. Eric B & Rakim had split in ’92 n Rakim aint release no solo shit til like ’97…meanwhile Big Daddy Kane, KRS-One n LL Cool J had already cemented they legacies by this time. NY needed a fresh face…eventually they was gon get more than a couple…but it started wit Nas.
Niggas was mad eager tho…the streets was wild hungry for Nas to drop that album. Niggas was like some fiends scratchin on they necks n holdin they little crumpled up dollar bills ready to cop whatever was available. Nas was knee deep into the recording process for the album but then all a sudden its like…niggas was hearin the shit they had jus made last week pumpin outta the speakers of the whips that was rollin by em on the street like the shit had dropped already. It aint take no mathematical scholars to add the shit up n deduce that cats was bootleggin the fuck out the album son. This was before internets n niggas leakin whole albums online n uppin that shit on Sharebeast n whatever. Muthafuckas was goin thru the hassle of makin bootleg tapes n sellin em shits like it was the final product. It wasnt no uncommon shit but usually bootleggin ass niggas had the decency to sell the actual actual album son. But it became more n more common for niggas to jump the gun n sell shit that wasnt ready n front like it was the official joints at that time. Thats why it wasnt too many niggas in New York gettin no gold plaques or nothin in the early 90s. NY cats wasnt tryna wait for actual release dates n pay full price for shit they could cop for damn near free like 9 months before the shit would hit the stores n whatever. Even Jay Z had the Illmatic bootleg n Im pretty sure he never hit Tower Records n copped the official shit later namsayin…
So anyways yo…the record company starts buggin n they decide they wanna wrap the shit up n jus put out whatever the fuck is ready up to this point namsayin. The shit is only 10 tracks dog. One track is the intro. Another track is two years old yo. Plus “It Aint Hard To Tell” was already gettin mad play. That was basically 7 new joints they wanted to put all they faith in on some Hail Mary shit. I mean it was cool in like ’87 to drop a 10 track album wit one or two of em tracks bein either a record where the DJ or whatever is cuttin some shit up or some bullshit dub mix tacked on at the end. But in ’94 niggas had already started expectin like 18 track albums n shit. They was takin a big risk tryin to push a short ass album wit no skits or interludes to pad it out or nothin.
So anyways they drop the album a couple months later n boom…shit sends shockwaves all over the map nahmean. Niggas is mad when they see the album track list is 10 cuts n shit…but when they hear it its like whatever tho. Shit was wild lean. No fast forwards necessary. None. The shit was so concise n precisionally accurate n had no air bubbles or nothin like that. Wasnt no corny ass blowjob skits or Nas pullin out his burner n shootin at imaginary niggas in between the songs. Wasnt mad guest artists jumpin on the mic or R&B singers eatin up precious time on the hooks n whatever. Shit was executed to perfection. The Source even said YO WE GON PULL OUR HEADS OUT OUR ASSES N GIVE THIS SHIT 5 MICS STRAIGHT UP WIT NO LOOKIN BACK CUZ THIS SHIT IS FIGGITY PHAT N ALLA DAT… Maybe not in those exact words tho. Actually… I believe it was the lovely Miss Info aka wifey who had the honor of writin the review n blessin it wit the 5 mics. Nuff respect was due.
So thats that shit in a nutshell b. Imma give this shit a quick run thru n let yall kno how these joints done stood the test of times tho. You already might got some idea how Imma rate this shit…so Imma rate the tracks one by one too.
The Genisis – This the realest (non musical) intro in the history of rap. Imma say that again. This the realest (non musical) intro in the history of rap. Im includin the shit where Ice Cube gets fried in the electric chair on AmeriKKKas Most Wanted… Im includin the Ready To Die intro where it takes you thru the stages of Biggie’s life n all that… Im includin all em questionable Pain In Da Ass intros Jay-Z had for his 90s joints…n I damn sure feel its realer than any the other album intros Nas ever came wit again…ESPECIALLY that shit where Esco pickin cotton n revolts against the cracker ass cracker slave owners at the start of It Was Written. This shit probably be goin way over the heads of yall yungbuck rugrats who wasnt een born when this album dropped…but this muthafuckin intro said more in a minute n 45 seconds n set the stage for the career of one of the greatest rappers of all times more than any other bullshit ass intro ever in the history of rap (Sorry Snoop in the bathtub talkin to Warren G on Doggystyle). First you got the sound of the train..which set the backdrop n let niggas kno this wasnt bout to be some happy go lucky shit. Then you had the scene from the b-boy classic Wild Style wit Hector tryin to kick knowledge to his lil brother Zoro. In case you aint seen the movie…the character Zoro was a graffiti artist who was played by graffiti legend Lee Quinones. In the flick his brother Hector was in the army n son came back on some gung ho rah rah shit talmbout BE A MAN NIGGA. I aint gon break down the whole movie or nothin…yall can catch that on Netflix or whatever…but bein that it was the first movie bout hip hop culture n was mainly bout graffiti (which was the first element of hip hop to really pop off)…this was truly representin the genesis. This was the origins of all the shit that would come after that…the DJ’n…the MC’n…the B-Boy’n…the fashion n styles that went wit it etc. All that shit had a nucleus nahmean. That shit was birthed in the heart of The Bronx. Truth be told…there had been niggas throwin up they tags in Philly n whatever before that…but The BX is where ALL the different branches of the tree grew from namsayin. Nas callin this shit the Genesis was his way of payin homage AND takin credit for the rebirth of hip hop that was bout to take place from that moment on. Im sayin theres layers to this shit. In the background you can hear his verse from “Live At The Barbeque” playin…which was also the genesis of where Nas started his career nahmean. Then after the scene wraps…the theme from Wild Style starts playin n you got Nas lil brother Jungle n AZ kickin it wit Nas in the studio talkin bout whatever whatever. Nas had picked out the joint he wanted em to talk over n Jungle fronted on the shit… It was all good tho. In the end…this shit is like a snapshot of 3 young dudes on the brink of fulfillin they destinies…. One was bout to become a serious contender for GOAT… One would become known as one of the most respected lyricists n underrated MCs of his generation…n the little nigga who hated on the beat was gon go on to author the timeless “Oochie Wally (Wally – Oochie bang bang)” n become one of the most famous weed carriers in hip hop (until Hov breathed life into a random cat from his projects named Memphis Bleek). Anyways I give this shit 5 Zeus Slaps outta 5.
New York State Of Mind – What better way to kick off ya album than wit one of the greatest joints of all time? I remember the first time I heard the shit…I was in awe yo. Shit was perfection. Preemo literally laced Nas wit one of the greatest beats ever. Shit was better than any beat he had ever made in his whole life….n he had already made “Mass Appeal” by this point… Son had already gave Jeru The Damaja the “Come Clean” beat by this point…n he STILL outdid hisself. Yo Im forreal shakin my head right now… This was Preem at his muthafuckin pinnacle b. Craziest thing bout this track was how Nas is sayin “I dont kno how to start this shit….” before he gets in his zone n jus spits his whole verse perfectly. In one take. Absolutely ridiculous yo. When muthafuckas say DJ Premier n Nas is the dream combo in all of hip hop…this is why. This shit also gets 5 slaps.
Life’s A Bitch feat. AZ – Now whats the chances that you gon go for dolo n start ya album wit one of the greatest joints in the history of rap…n then follow it wit one of the greatest duets in the history of rap? Son had some audacity for doin that shit. He aint een had a big name producer on this shit…jus his mans L.E.S. outta Queensbridge. Basically it was jussa pretty simple loop of the classic “Yearning For Your Love” joint by The Gap Band namsayin. But that aint what made the track so incredible…it was the verses that these niggas spit. AZ sets the shit off wit one of the most amazin sixteens ever rapped by anybody in the universe ever (you probably know it by heart) n then Nas comes in n snaps too. Niggas jus came outta nowhere n dropped instant classic bars on this shit son. Plus you got the timeless hook AZ blessed the track wit. So you got classic beat…classic bars…classic hook. That should do it right? But naw…the shit aint done. After the last hook Nas lets his pops Olu Dara blow on the cornet (pause) til the song fades. Shit is jus the right amount too…wasnt no overkill on the solo or nothin. If Kanye had the man on the end of one of his tracks today he would probably let the nigga play for like a full 9 minutes n whatever while he do his little autotune cryin on top of it or some shit. So this shows how muthafuckas knew how to control they impulses to overdo shit. Incredible. How could I not give this 5 slaps…
The World Is Yours – My mans Pete Rock aka Soul Brother #1 blessed this shit lovely wit some beautiful piano chops played by the legendary Ahmad Jamal. Meanwhile this cat Nas jus murderin the fuck outta this shit. This track is the seed that Hov’s Dead Presidents grew from. Mad talented cats like Slum Village, Elzhi, Blu, n Curren$y had paid they little tributes to it since. J. Cole also paid his tributes to it. Pete had been known mostly for his horns n shit so when he came witta whole different sound on this shit it was like he had customized the shit for Nas. Like he had tailored the suit for Nas n to let him get his grown man on. Hate to be on some o.d. worshipin niggas songs shit…but this gets a perfect 5 slaps from me too.
Halftime – This the joint that started it all for son. Shit was all business. Wasnt no catchy hook or nothin…wasnt no happy ass new jack swing beat for chicks to shake they ass to. It was jus son catchin wreck over one of the toughest beats Extra P ever cooked up for 4 ignorant ass minutes.
“You couldnt catch me in the streets without a ton of reefer/Thats like Malcom X catchin the Jungle Fever”
This shit is a monument in Hip Hop. Id be on some real bullshit if I gave it less than 5 slaps.
Memory Lane – Next time the topic of “best Nas verse” comes up n you get that impulse to say “Verbal Intercourse” or some shit jus cue this shit up in ya head n ask yaself if son ever spit anything as poetically vivid as:
“I rap divine gawd…check the prognosis/Is it real or showbiz?
My window faces shootouts/drug overdoses
Live amongst no roses/only the drama/forreal
A nickel-plate is my fate/my medicine is the ganja
Heres my basis/my razor embraces many faces
Your telephone blowin/black stitches or fat shoelaces”
“Word to Christ/A disciple of streets/trifle on beats
I decipher prophecies/thru a mic n say peace”
“True to the game/as long as blood is blue in my veins
I pour my Heineken brew/to my deceased crew/on memory lane”
on any of em other verses son stays gettin mad credit for. I aint sayin them other verses aint bananas too… Im jus sayin he really kinda did his thing here. Preemo wasnt no slouch on the beat neither. This shit is jus on point in every way you can think of bruh. Fuckouttahere yo…this shit get 5 slaps too.
One Love – Nas got to flex his storytellin skills on NY State Of Mind…then reflect on some moments in his life on Lifes A Bitch n painted some pictures for us on The World Is Yours…but he upped the ante on this shit. Q-Tip laced him on the track witta backdrop that really let him stretch his creative wings. He wrote the the first two verses as letters to his mans locked up in the belly of the beast n the last verse as a story from his own perspective bout droppin jewels on shorty from around the way. How many songs you kno where a whole scene in a movie was based on a verse from that joint?
You really think Imma give this shit anything less than 5 slaps? Cmon son…
One time 4 Your Mind – This shit right here might not be anybody favorite song on the album but its lowkey the most underrated track on the album. This is probably also one of the earliest tracks Nas n Large Pro worked on together for Illmatic. Nas had his mans Grand Wizard assistin him on the hook while niggas took it back on some golden age shit. Wasnt no real deep concepts or nothin…jus Nas floatin on the track like a damn sorcerer. Son not only floated on the track my man hovered on that muthafucka. Son parasailed on this shit. My niggas feet aint touch the ground for 3 straight minutes. But dont think son gon waste any time kickin some bullshit. This aint like on “Book Of Rhymes” where son crumplin up pages from his rhyme stash. Wasnt no “Memory Lane” type compounded lyricism goin on here but son still split a few atoms here n there…
“Think I’ll dim the lights n inhale/it stimulates
Floatin like Im on the North 95 interstate”
But the way he closes out the second verse he straight takin it back to his Barbeque/Grill days n offendin religious folk again…
“I hold a Mac-11/n attack a reverend
I contact 11 L’s n max in Heaven”
He actually used that Mac-11 line on “Nas Will Prevail” (aka the original version of It Aint Hard To Tell) from his demo but Im glad he resurrected it anyways. I aint gon front n act like this joint coulda carried the album. Its technically as close as it gets to there bein any filler on this muthafucka. Every other song on the album so far is a landmark in Hip Hop in some form or fashion namsayin. I personally enjoy this track more than a couple of the other joints on the album but I gotta keep it 1,000,000 wit yall n acknowledge the fact that the song aint exactly change the world. Pretty much all the other tracks so far belong in the Smithsonian or Library of Congress or some shit…Dope as it is I feel kinda wrong givin it the same rating as shit like “Life’s A Bitch” n “One Love”…joints that really shifted the rotation of the planets in orbit in the rap solar system… which is the ONLY reason I gotta hang my head n give it 4-1/2 slaps.
Represent – I aint gon front. “NY State Of Mind” n “Memory Lane” both elevated the bar so high that the only reason this track aint considered one of the crown jewels of Illmatic is cuz theres like a minimum of 7 better joints on the album. So really its not that the song aint dope its jus less dope than the other ones. Illmatic dont got any weak links but usually this track n “One Time 4 Your Mind” gotta duke it out for that 8th best spot (cuz we dont count “The Genesis” as a song of course). Me personally…I prefer “One Time…”. The bars on this shit was still dope but nothin too complex or outstanding by the rest of the albums standards. One dope thing was how he brought his whole projects into the booth wit him tho. I love this shit but I gotta keep it all the way real wit yall n give it 4 slaps (by Illmatic standards).
It aint Hard To Tell – Nothin else that really needs to be said bout this joint. This was the first official single released from the album (since “Halftime” dropped as a single back in ’92) n it was a lot of high expectations put on Nas BECAUSE of how dope this single was. Large Professor outdid hisself on the production tip n cloaked my man Nas in summa the finest fabrics ever woven on the SP-1200. This is when he brought out the golden fleece n said AIGHT NOW YOU DO YA THING WIT THAT SHIT BABY PA. My man Extra P went n sampled the smoothest n most cool ass Michael Jackson track ever n flipped it on some rugged 90s jeep music shit. Whats fuckin wit that yo? Just Blaze declared the beat one of the three greatest of all time (incidentally “Lookin At The Front Door” by Main Source was another one of the three). Meanwhile young Nas took it to some cosmic plains n elevated his mental state for three 12 bar verses n left that shit “froze like her-on in ya nose”. I aint een gotta say it but this shit gets 5 slaps from me jus based off the historical significance alone yo.
So there yall have it… One of (if not the absolute) greatest hip hop albums of all time broken down to a science. I aint never gon forget the feelin I got from tearin off the plastic on that tape n throwin it in my box (that never ate tapes) n hearin these shits for the first time. Word is bond I still get chills forreal whenever I hear the intro to “NY State Of Mind”. No joke…I still let “The Genesis” play the whole way thru anytime I pop that CD in or put the needle on the record too. I been listenin to this shit like it jus dropped for 20 years now son. Those memories from the first time I heard it stay fresh in my mind to this day b. I remember where I was n who I was wit…I remember readin the liner notes n production credits over n over. I even remember what the clouds looked like that day. See thats the thing bout (dope) music… They say your sense of smell is the sense that triggers specific memories more so than any other sense…but for me when I hear certain songs its like a time machine namsayin. This album transports me back forreal. Thats what dope music can do. Its like a bookmark for moments…whether they good or bad. This wasnt a record full of hits n chart topping singles nahmean….but it was life music. Thats what keeps the shit timeless. It was sincere n honest. Son was 19-20 yrs old n had the aura of a 80 yr old bluesman. Nas never made a better or more significant album. Matter fact I dont think anybody ever made anything close to toppin this shit since. Its been a lot of dope n classic albums but its always gon be only one Illmatic.
Ayo I give this shit 10 Zeus Slaps outta 5
Son…when half ya album is contenders for the top 50 greatest rap songs ever n one joint might even be the greatest rap song OF ALL TIME (NY State Of Mind) that little perfect 5 outta 5 rating jus aint cuttin it.
March 28, 2014
Ayo whattup…yall already kno who it is but in case yall forgot Imma reintroduce yall. The gawd go by a couple different names… The Hands of Zeus aka Thor Molecules aka Phantom Raviolis aka Shampoo Bracelets aka Galaxy Knuckles aka Lamborghini Saxophones aka Broccoli Bundles aka The illustrious Cocaine Biceps so on n so forth nahmean. Mostly they jus call me Big Ghost the almighty soulcrusher n rider of dragons…protector of the realms…first of his name n all that.
So I was peepin this new Mastermind LP by that man born William (Ricky for short) Corleone Khan Ross aka Rick “BAWSE” Ross…one the most authentically credible MCs in the game. Lotta yall dont kno bout his past…when son was known as Freeway Ricky Rawse the Bawse…one of Florida’s most notorious cocaine traffickers n close personal family friend to Panamanian dictator/CIA puppet Manuel Noriega (who had a hit song in the 90s “Superthug” aka “WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WH-WHAT”).
Rick was born in a Cuban refugee camp durin the 70s to a mother of Jamaican/Italian descent named Latonya Peruzzi n a former Colombian military strategist/80s drug czar father named Hector Sosa…namsayin. After Rick’s pops had orchestrated the entire coup d’etat for the 26th of July Movement aka Movimiento 26 de Julio which overthrew the corrupt Batista regime in Cuba n put Fidel Castro in power…Hector spent the next 6 years travelin from Algeria to The Congo to the Bolivian jungle as Che Guevara’s personal advisor/stylist n whatever.
After Che was executed in Bolivia Hector built a raft from some plantain trees n sailed across the Florida Strait in search of a better life n shit. What happened tho was his raft had got blown off course durin a storm n he ended up on a remote island off the coast of Florida where son was captured by Dominican pirates n forced to transport 8 kilos of Peruvian cocaine in his rectum into the US. After they had prepped the nigga as a mule wit the packs of cocaina…they threw homie back on the raft witta tracer n shipped him to Miami. 5 days later son got nabbed by the coast guard n sent to the refugee camp. Thats where he met his future wife Latonya who he had got pregnant after a week n married a month later in a small ceremony that was conducted by a Santerian priest namsayin. 11 months later a healthy baby boy weighin in at 27 lbs n 9 ounces was born. Lemme move the hands on the clock back bout a year tho to when Ricky’s pops Hector had first got thrown in the camp … When he got snatched up by the coast guard the first thing he knew he had to do was protect the only valuables he had on him. So he had found a mattress to stash his coke inside of n left it there til it was the right time to leave… After Ricky was born a cousin of his pops had hooked Hector up witta job at Bojangles Famous Chicken n Biscuits where he rolled biscuits n made fries til it was his time to make his moves in the drug game forreal.
Meanwhile little Ricky n his moms Latonya use to spend they days together playin chess n doin advanced Mensa brainteasers n shit like that. Ricky’s momma had wanted her only son to be able to think strategically n learn to anticipate the moves of his future enemies . Under the tutelage of his devoted moms n his military strategist pops Ricky had began to develop a very advanced way of seein shit…almost as if he had more senses than the average nigga…even at the age of 5 n shit. It wasnt long after that that his pops was able to get all his shit poppin n quit his job at Bojangles to start movin weight. He flipped the first 8 bricks he was holdin within a week n used the bread he had from that to buy a white Ferrari Testarossa n some pastel colored suits.
After that he met witta couple dudes who wanted him to fly down to Medillin to meet witta cat named Carlos Lehder who was lookin for somebody to help him n his partner move 75 tons of coke into Miami each month namsayin. We talkin serious weight yo. His partner was a dude named Pablo Escobar (no relation to Nas Escobar) who had what was called a “monopoly” on that shit at the time. Ricky’s pops was spendin mad time down in Colombia bouncin ideas off Pablo n Carlos n tryin to come up wit bigger n better ways to move all that coca…shit that the DEA n the coast guard hadnt already caught on to n whatever. Homie had the idea to hide the coke inside animatronic dolphins but nobody was feelin that cuz niggas wasnt really tryna build no robotic dolphins n shit b. Later on he had came up witta way to use remote submarines n helicopters n they ran wit that instead.
By the early 80s Carlos had began to spend more n more time on his whole other empire that he was buildin wit this cat named George Jung (not to be confused wit George of the Jungle) which opened the door wide open for Ricky’s pops Hector to become Pablo’s right hand man. Shit was the beginning of a very fruitful (pause) partnership n by the mid 80’s Ricky’s pops was basically runnin Pablo Escobar’s cocaine empire for him nahmean. It was around this time that lil Ricky had began makin his own coke connects on the low. He use to spend his summers in Medellin…which was where he began a secret romantic love affair witta older woman by the name of Griselda Blanco. Griselda was the godmother of her own cocaine empire n had took a special interest in Ricky. She was actually the one who introduced him to the game namsayin…not his pops. It was also her that gave him his nickname BAWSE. She use to tell muthafuckas “Deese meh Reeeeky….I cohl eem bowze” n the shit jus stuck. Pretty soon ey’body in Medellin was callin him that. But Griselda had a cold heart b. She also had a plan to assassinate Ricky’s pops Hector n have Ricky replace him as Escobar’s right hand man n put him one step closer to the top of the Escobar pyramid namsayin. This way Griselda would have some control or influence over what was happenin on both sides n shit.
So one day while Ricky’s pops Hector was comin outta a cathederal after a meeting wit his peoples two dudes on a dirt bike wet him up witta TEC-9 n threw a grenade at him to make sure it wouldnt be no open casket at his funeral. Sons body exploded all over the square yo. Shit was a mess b….they was findin pieces of him for weeks. Ricky was sittin across the street at the ice cream shop havin coconut paletas when it happened n seen his pops explode all over the place. He had no idea at the time that it was his secret romance witta older woman that had led to the death of his own father. See Ricky’s pops had never wanted this life for his son b. He wanted Ricky to grow up to be a doctor or a veterinarian or some shit like that since he loved animals n shit. But seein that shit…his pops get expoded all over the town square…that shit made Ricky’s heart turn to ice.